Holding on

If anyone reads this, well color me surprised.


Granted, I haven't been gone long, but it feels like it. Anyway, I have a new job and that's been pretty fun. Actually, it's awesome. I'm a lot busier than before but I am not complaining (shocking, I know.) Apart from work, there have been some family issues that I'm working to resolve. Life would be so much easier if I didn't have a family, but I know I would be miserable without them.

The most interesting reason I've been away is because of an accident. Well, the family is pretty damn serious, but that's not something I'm going to get into here. Anyway, about this accident.

You see car accidents relatively often, but do you ever stop and think about the moment when it happened? I can understand why people who get in accidents get nervous once they are behind the wheel again. If you're one of the lucky people who have never been in an accident, I do hope you stay that way.

I was on my way home from work. I had a great day in the office and had just got out of the gym. If you know anything about my life beyond Vana'diel, then you know exactly how good it feels to be able to type the previous two sentences. It had just started to rain before I headed out. As I was approaching an intersection, I decided to move into the far right lane so I could take my usual shortcut. Behind me, there was another car who was apparently thinking the same thing.

I'm all for fast driving, as I can't stand being on the road. However, I'm smart enough to know that driving fast on a wet road full of cars is pretty fucking stupid. The person behind me didn't get that memo, unfortunately. They were driving relatively fast and Mr. Jackass figured I wasn't going fast enough so they got in front of me. The bad part about that isn't the fact that I was cut off, but where I was cutoff. Literally, this idiot got in front of me just a few car lengths from the intersection. I unfortunately had a knee-jerk reaction and hit the brakes, which then caused me to start hydroplaning. I guess the person realized that he also wouldn't be able to slow down fast enough without going out of control and then jumped back into the lane on his left, continuing through the intersection. It was too late for me and I ended up totaling my car. From that description, it doesn't sound like much. Now let me tell you what I saw in that short moment.

People say that time slows down when you're in an intense situation. It's like Bullet Time, only not in a cool way. Once I was cutoff, it was just an "oh-shit" moment. Then when I realized I couldn't stop and I was going to run into something, that's when the bullet time came into play. Going to the left would've put me right into the main traffic, which obviously wouldn't be a good idea. Turning right would've place me into a ditch. Heading straight was putting me on a collision course with a vehicle waiting for the light to change. Naturally, turning right seemed like the sensible choice, so that's what I did. Or rather, that's what I tried to do. The fun part about hydroplaning is that it's basically a big "fuck-you" to your steering ability. I was heading straight, and my efforts to turn weren't working as quickly as I wanted.

Everything gets louder and quieter in the same moment. The sounds of screeching wheels, your own heartbeat, breathing, and a sudden silence as the moment of impact approaches. The worst part of it all was the car in front of me on the intersecting lane. I looked straight ahead and saw them, staring at me. They knew I was about to hit them, but what could they do? What I could do, for that matter. I'm not even seconds from hitting them...I'm less than that. I can't imagine what the people in that car were thinking, but I know what I would be thinking. How can I protect the people with me? What can I do?

Let me put it to you this way...I felt absolutely helpless. Thankfully, I didn't hit them. What I did do was end up running off the road and totalling my vehicle. While I'm pretty pissed behind that, I take comfort in knowing that the people I was heading towards were spared. I'm more pissed that the fucker who cut me off managed to just drive on his way and never look back.

Anyway, I'm alive and so are the others. That counts more than anything. I was bit banged up, but I'm fine now. I have no idea why I decided to share that with you all, but there it is.

Now on to Vana'diel. I reactivated my content ID yesterday and signed on. Surprisingly, I was almost immediately greeted with several "Yay! You're back!" tells. Quite honestly, I'm surprised people noticed. Not to say that it wasn't appreciated. It truly was; it was simply unexpected.

One thing I did notice when I signed on is that my head started hurting. Do we just get used to the lag and other shit that's present in this game? Christ, I couldn't bear to watch things for more than a few minutes. Maybe it's because I've been fiddling with Crysis 2 and I'm used to that. FFXI just seems horridly outdated. Well, I guess it is, but we love it anyway.

Whatever, I'll bitch about things later. I have a headache and I'm also at work. I should do my job, for at least a little while.