If you're new to this blog, there are probably quite a few things you don't know about me. Then again, you could've been here from the start and still not understand me. One thing about me is that I am highly (and I do mean highly) sensitive. I don't mean that break into tears when I see the sunset, or I'll curl in the fetal position if you insult me. Not at all. My sensitivity comes up on the subject of racism and sexism.
What does this have to do with FFXI? Incoming QQ folks.
It has a lot to do with it. Perhaps it's not just FFXI, but I have never seen so much of it elsewhere. I spend a lot of time online in this game; maybe way more than I should. I guess that is why I see so much anger, sexism, and racial slurs. I know a lot of it has to do with the internet and its anonymity. No identity, no repercussions = no cares. There's a study about it, but I'm typing on my phone and can't look at more than one page at a time. Plus I'm doing Logwatch. Yay logsm
Anyway, back to the game. I see this stuff everyday, and recently it's really begun to take its toll on me. The use of things such as (anyone offended by these things....leave now.) " niggers, japs, bitch (for women), faggot," and whatever else you can think of. Or when people sit around make jokes about rape and dead babies. Really people, since when was a woman being raped or seeing a dead child ever considered funny? I'm not so naïve to think that I can go somewhere and never be exposed to such...verbal garbage, but to see it EVERY SINGLE DAY?? I think what upsets me more than seeing / hearing it are the excuses people give for it.
"Oh come on, it's just a word."
"It should only offend you if it applies to you."
"I don't have strong English."
"I'm not really like this. I'm just joking around."
Naturally, this only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bullshit excuses. These aren't just words; they have serious meanings to them. The sticks and stones phrase we were taught as children was an outright lie. Words have started wars; they have motivated people to give their lives for a cause, and driven others to take their lives. To say that these words, which have a meaning deeply rooted in fear, ignorance, or hate is simply "just a word" absolutely baffles me. Worst yet are the people who say they don't have a problem with the people these words are meant to insult and are actually very caring and sympathetic to what they have gone through. Well...if that is how you feel, then why the hell are you letting these words come out of your mouth?
I really don't know what to say about these things. Am I too sensitive? Should I be like the rest and just completely forgot what these words have done to people over the years? If I'm supposed to jump in and be on board with the Internet Hate Machine, then I am sorry to say that I won't be joining. Caliburn says that I simply still value the meaning of words. I just wish that so many others could do the same.
January 28, 2012
January 27, 2012
But...I thought you liked it hard?
So much to complain about, but my computer is broken and I'm too lazy to build a new one.
Anyway, remember when they announced the level increase and the rumors about the battle to take place? If you browsed the forums for any length of time, you would run into post after post after post of people begging the developers for a challenging fight. No, they didn't want to just grab a few Kindred's Seals or Crest and spend 20 merits. Nope. They wanted a fight. A real fight that would take everything they had learned and force them to come up with new methods for taking down a new and incredibly challenging boss.
Or 1 White Mage, 4 Monks, and a Summoner with Alexander.
I'll have to look back on the forums, but I'll be damned if someone didn't call this. They saw it coming. Not the setup, per se, but the reaction of the players. As soon as someone found a method to win, it would become the standard and people wouldn't bother to actually try any other way. So much for the challenging fight, right? Who needs to think about any strategy when you can just go in with Perfect Defense, Hundred Fists, and just spam Asuran Fists until you win?
Not only has it become the standard, along with a Black Mage Manaburn style, but people are being shunned away and unable to join in the fight if they don't have that specific job leveled. This is what amazes me. What happened guys? I thought you wanted a challenge? I thought you wanted this to be super difficult since it's the last level increase we'll have? So why are you turning away that 95 Dancer who's asking to join, or the 93 Bard who's been looking for days? Oh, is it because they don't fit the guaranteed winning method? Could it be that you're a hypocrite?
/gasp! It can't be true, can it?
Of course it is. People are full of shit in this game. Clamoring and crying about wanting a challenge, only so you can find the quickest, cheapest, and highest rate of success setup. Post it on wiki, and never actually think about trying a different setup. Of course, there's the other side to that argument, where you're just trying stupid setups for the hell of it. (ie 5 Bards and 1 PUP, or something equally stupid).
Now to deal with the "what's wrong with being efficient? Who wants to do a hard fight when you can just use that method to win and move on?" type of people. What's wrong with it, you ask? It's wrong because you begged for them to make it hard. That's what's wrong with it. You, the players, asked them to make a hard fight. Something that would kick your ass if you didn't have your A-game ready. That's what you got. A Tarutaru Monk who put you on the floor without even blinking, and what did you do? You turned-tail and ran away, looking for some cheap ass method to win. You found it, used it, and now go around Port Jeuno telling the people who need the win about how easy the fight is.
A few days ago, I was in Altepa with Alerith, and we were going to try Bennu. Is it an incredibly hard fight? No it isn't, but we decided to go with a non-standard setup of NIN/WAR and PLD/RDM. Things were fine and moving along nicely until one fight when we had Bennu, Ouzelum, and two other adds on us. It went from a smooth fight to chaotic, but we held it together. When it was over, we felt pretty damn good. As a matter of fact, we felt great. We went as a non-standard setup, had a difficult battle, and won. While it's nothing to run around bragging about, it made us both feel good. Could we have made it easier? Of course we could have, but where's the challenge in making things easy?
When they first released the level cap, I was waiting and hoping that this wouldn't happen. Maybe we actually would go into battle and have a really difficult fight that we could walk out of with our heads held high because we overcame a serious challenge. Something that made level 99 mean something. Unfortunately, being level 99 mostly means you happen to know a few Monks and a Summoner.
Hooray for challenges.
Anyway, remember when they announced the level increase and the rumors about the battle to take place? If you browsed the forums for any length of time, you would run into post after post after post of people begging the developers for a challenging fight. No, they didn't want to just grab a few Kindred's Seals or Crest and spend 20 merits. Nope. They wanted a fight. A real fight that would take everything they had learned and force them to come up with new methods for taking down a new and incredibly challenging boss.
Or 1 White Mage, 4 Monks, and a Summoner with Alexander.
I'll have to look back on the forums, but I'll be damned if someone didn't call this. They saw it coming. Not the setup, per se, but the reaction of the players. As soon as someone found a method to win, it would become the standard and people wouldn't bother to actually try any other way. So much for the challenging fight, right? Who needs to think about any strategy when you can just go in with Perfect Defense, Hundred Fists, and just spam Asuran Fists until you win?
Not only has it become the standard, along with a Black Mage Manaburn style, but people are being shunned away and unable to join in the fight if they don't have that specific job leveled. This is what amazes me. What happened guys? I thought you wanted a challenge? I thought you wanted this to be super difficult since it's the last level increase we'll have? So why are you turning away that 95 Dancer who's asking to join, or the 93 Bard who's been looking for days? Oh, is it because they don't fit the guaranteed winning method? Could it be that you're a hypocrite?
/gasp! It can't be true, can it?
Of course it is. People are full of shit in this game. Clamoring and crying about wanting a challenge, only so you can find the quickest, cheapest, and highest rate of success setup. Post it on wiki, and never actually think about trying a different setup. Of course, there's the other side to that argument, where you're just trying stupid setups for the hell of it. (ie 5 Bards and 1 PUP, or something equally stupid).
Now to deal with the "what's wrong with being efficient? Who wants to do a hard fight when you can just use that method to win and move on?" type of people. What's wrong with it, you ask? It's wrong because you begged for them to make it hard. That's what's wrong with it. You, the players, asked them to make a hard fight. Something that would kick your ass if you didn't have your A-game ready. That's what you got. A Tarutaru Monk who put you on the floor without even blinking, and what did you do? You turned-tail and ran away, looking for some cheap ass method to win. You found it, used it, and now go around Port Jeuno telling the people who need the win about how easy the fight is.
A few days ago, I was in Altepa with Alerith, and we were going to try Bennu. Is it an incredibly hard fight? No it isn't, but we decided to go with a non-standard setup of NIN/WAR and PLD/RDM. Things were fine and moving along nicely until one fight when we had Bennu, Ouzelum, and two other adds on us. It went from a smooth fight to chaotic, but we held it together. When it was over, we felt pretty damn good. As a matter of fact, we felt great. We went as a non-standard setup, had a difficult battle, and won. While it's nothing to run around bragging about, it made us both feel good. Could we have made it easier? Of course we could have, but where's the challenge in making things easy?
When they first released the level cap, I was waiting and hoping that this wouldn't happen. Maybe we actually would go into battle and have a really difficult fight that we could walk out of with our heads held high because we overcame a serious challenge. Something that made level 99 mean something. Unfortunately, being level 99 mostly means you happen to know a few Monks and a Summoner.
Hooray for challenges.
January 11, 2012
Speaking of wasting time
Voidwatch
This has got to be the worst event ever created in my few years of playing FFXI. I've known that ever since I first started this game, it's designed to take time. Nothing just happens or is given to you. You wanted a relic, you had to make a serious effort to get the currency. Nyzul Isle, Salvage, Einherjar, upgrading gear, getting drops from NMs...nothing ever happened quickly. As much as dislike that aspect of FFXI, I have nonetheless accepted it as I continue to play this game.
Voidwatch; however, is completely different. It's the Corsair's dice of end game events. Meaning it's all luck. Though I find even that somewhat questionable. Of course, you have the people who just say "stop QQ'ing and just spam." To those people who even think this system makes sense or is remotely tolerable, I have to say...you're flat-out stupid.
Someone explain to me how Voidwatch is fair, reasonable, or even enjoyable? It's nothing more than trigger-zerg fest for anyone involved. It involves absolutely no strategy. Buy an abyssite that not only tells you what the NM is weak to, but even tells you the damn job it's weak against. I'd figure that for the "regular" NMs in Abyssea or something. These new NMs practically hand you their weakness, and it's not like you had to work hard to get this abyssite either. It's not like this one, where you actually had to put some effort behind it. Not at all, just grab a stratum abyssite to take part in the event, and buy the corresponding abyssite that tells you a weakness. From the start, people. I'm not even going into the temporary item spam that we all use.
But that's only a minor gripe of Voidwatch. What pisses me off is the "reward system," if you even dare to call it that. Kill the NM and run up to the treasure chest. Logs, SE? Really...logs. Is this your hidden way of saying that Woodworking is going to be a primary craft skill in future updates? Of course, not all of us get logs. Some of us actually get useful items, which is nice. Unless you happen to already have said item, which then just goes to waste. Oh, you didn't know? There's no treasure pool in Voidwatch. Nope, it all goes to you. So if you happen to come across something like...oh, a Mekira body piece, or a piece of Athos's armor and you already have it...well, oops. You can't trade what you have, and you can't put it in a treasure pool for someone else. It just goes to waste. So we're spamming fights for a random chance to receive an item, while those who actually have the item run the risk of receiving it multiple times and throwing it away because it can't be traded or put in a pool. Makes perfect sense.
Then it hit me like a giant ton of Marid crap. Voidwatch is a time waster until the next update. That's all it is. The whole event is designed to do nothing more than waste time. They knew that players would find a way to beat these NMs quickly with the stupid ass trigger system they put in place. They allow us to basically stagger lock an NM for the entire duration of the fight, so why create a reward system that would actually allow us to get the good drops from the fight? Make it the most idiotic, wasteful, and senseless system imaginable so we have no choice but to spam it.
Of course, we as players are stupid and have this "I need" mentality so we'll sit there, doing fight after fight after fight after fight. Wasting the stones the game naturally gives us and then going so far as to pay for void dust so we can have more logs fill up our inventory. When you step back and look at it, we are some damn idiots. The entire model around Voidwatch is designed to get us to waste our time and gil...and we eat that shit up.
Square Enix knows that, and uses it to their full advantage.
This has got to be the worst event ever created in my few years of playing FFXI. I've known that ever since I first started this game, it's designed to take time. Nothing just happens or is given to you. You wanted a relic, you had to make a serious effort to get the currency. Nyzul Isle, Salvage, Einherjar, upgrading gear, getting drops from NMs...nothing ever happened quickly. As much as dislike that aspect of FFXI, I have nonetheless accepted it as I continue to play this game.
Voidwatch; however, is completely different. It's the Corsair's dice of end game events. Meaning it's all luck. Though I find even that somewhat questionable. Of course, you have the people who just say "stop QQ'ing and just spam." To those people who even think this system makes sense or is remotely tolerable, I have to say...you're flat-out stupid.
Someone explain to me how Voidwatch is fair, reasonable, or even enjoyable? It's nothing more than trigger-zerg fest for anyone involved. It involves absolutely no strategy. Buy an abyssite that not only tells you what the NM is weak to, but even tells you the damn job it's weak against. I'd figure that for the "regular" NMs in Abyssea or something. These new NMs practically hand you their weakness, and it's not like you had to work hard to get this abyssite either. It's not like this one, where you actually had to put some effort behind it. Not at all, just grab a stratum abyssite to take part in the event, and buy the corresponding abyssite that tells you a weakness. From the start, people. I'm not even going into the temporary item spam that we all use.
But that's only a minor gripe of Voidwatch. What pisses me off is the "reward system," if you even dare to call it that. Kill the NM and run up to the treasure chest. Logs, SE? Really...logs. Is this your hidden way of saying that Woodworking is going to be a primary craft skill in future updates? Of course, not all of us get logs. Some of us actually get useful items, which is nice. Unless you happen to already have said item, which then just goes to waste. Oh, you didn't know? There's no treasure pool in Voidwatch. Nope, it all goes to you. So if you happen to come across something like...oh, a Mekira body piece, or a piece of Athos's armor and you already have it...well, oops. You can't trade what you have, and you can't put it in a treasure pool for someone else. It just goes to waste. So we're spamming fights for a random chance to receive an item, while those who actually have the item run the risk of receiving it multiple times and throwing it away because it can't be traded or put in a pool. Makes perfect sense.
Then it hit me like a giant ton of Marid crap. Voidwatch is a time waster until the next update. That's all it is. The whole event is designed to do nothing more than waste time. They knew that players would find a way to beat these NMs quickly with the stupid ass trigger system they put in place. They allow us to basically stagger lock an NM for the entire duration of the fight, so why create a reward system that would actually allow us to get the good drops from the fight? Make it the most idiotic, wasteful, and senseless system imaginable so we have no choice but to spam it.
Of course, we as players are stupid and have this "I need" mentality so we'll sit there, doing fight after fight after fight after fight. Wasting the stones the game naturally gives us and then going so far as to pay for void dust so we can have more logs fill up our inventory. When you step back and look at it, we are some damn idiots. The entire model around Voidwatch is designed to get us to waste our time and gil...and we eat that shit up.
Square Enix knows that, and uses it to their full advantage.
Pass that s**t, homie!
Let me ask you, why is passing items so hard? Do you not realize items have a 5 minute duration in the treasure pool? Maybe that doesn't seem like much to some, but 5 minutes adds up. It's a long ass time when you're just standing there, waiting for items.
I was in a party last night because I didn't feel like seeing more Spacedragon shouts in Port Jeuno. I head out to Uleguerand and get ready for the fight. As usual, only one person in a seal run party actually brought the items to spawn the NM, and that was the leader. I already knew I wasn't bringing any because I was just there to help. The rest of the people either forgot, didn't care, or had the awesome "I can't afford 40k" excuse.
Bull. Shit.
I have got to be one of the poorest people in this game, and even I know getting 40k takes no effort.
1. Run outside, smack some enemies.
2. Shivite or something similar drops.
3. List on the auction house for 5 minutes.
4. ???
5. Profit.
It's that damn simple. Anyway, the fight goes off without a hitch and all is well. We then go to fight another NM who has one of 2 items needed to spawn the one we actually want to fight. The pop item drops and most people pass. All except one. Here we go. It always has to happen. There's that one damn person who just refuses to pass shit. So now we're standing around, waiting for it to drop so we can fight our NM. I can understand if reality calls you away for a moment, but when you're just standing there or even still fighting while we're telling you "Pass items please," then I've got an issue with you.
That is wasting my damn time, and I don't appreciate having my time wasted. Are you lazy? Do you not know how to access the treasure pool and select "Pass"? What makes it great is when you become so annoyed that you start doing in party chat, only to have them suddenly get pissy and tell you not to do that. Well if your dumb ass would pass the item from the start, that never would have happened.
Maybe it's the parser mentality. "Must do massive damage always! Can't pause to see pool; ruins numbers. RAWR!!" I don't know and don't care. If I'm lead in a party from now on and you don't pass that shit, prepare to be kicked. End of story.
Aren't you glad I'm back? :D
I was in a party last night because I didn't feel like seeing more Spacedragon shouts in Port Jeuno. I head out to Uleguerand and get ready for the fight. As usual, only one person in a seal run party actually brought the items to spawn the NM, and that was the leader. I already knew I wasn't bringing any because I was just there to help. The rest of the people either forgot, didn't care, or had the awesome "I can't afford 40k" excuse.
Bull. Shit.
I have got to be one of the poorest people in this game, and even I know getting 40k takes no effort.
1. Run outside, smack some enemies.
2. Shivite or something similar drops.
3. List on the auction house for 5 minutes.
4. ???
5. Profit.
It's that damn simple. Anyway, the fight goes off without a hitch and all is well. We then go to fight another NM who has one of 2 items needed to spawn the one we actually want to fight. The pop item drops and most people pass. All except one. Here we go. It always has to happen. There's that one damn person who just refuses to pass shit. So now we're standing around, waiting for it to drop so we can fight our NM. I can understand if reality calls you away for a moment, but when you're just standing there or even still fighting while we're telling you "Pass items please," then I've got an issue with you.
That is wasting my damn time, and I don't appreciate having my time wasted. Are you lazy? Do you not know how to access the treasure pool and select "Pass"? What makes it great is when you become so annoyed that you start doing
Maybe it's the parser mentality. "Must do massive damage always! Can't pause to see pool; ruins numbers. RAWR!!" I don't know and don't care. If I'm lead in a party from now on and you don't pass that shit, prepare to be kicked. End of story.
Aren't you glad I'm back? :D
January 5, 2012
259.5
Can you believe it's been 260 days since I looked at my own blog?
The funny thing about that is *other* people still have been. Two days ago, in the middle of a lovely Magian trial, a couple of friends happened to ask why I haven't been updating this. I honestly have thought about it, but as much as I enjoy / need to bitch about things, the desire to do so just wasn't with me. Still, it was nice to know that at least someone remembered and enjoyed my rantings after all this time.
So I sign on this blogging site and look to see if any of my friends from here had done any blogging. Naturally, Evilpaul just doesn't stop, so his was up to date. Then I noticed several other people had made a few updates too. It was nice to see that blogging hadn't completely died out. To my surprise; however, was Dizzmal's recent post. I haven't talked to him in awhile, but he mentioned that he missed reading my rants. It was just funny to have two friends talk about this in-game, then see my name mentioned here the next day. To add to that, yesterday I get a /tell from someone that I had only just met who said he enjoyed reading my blog over the holiday too.
I'm not one to say I believe in fate, divine intervention, or the mysterious workings of the cosmos, but I do know how to take a hint. So again, I offer my apologies to all of my loyal minions who have waited for so long. Now then, on to the bitching, shall we?
The funny thing about that is *other* people still have been. Two days ago, in the middle of a lovely Magian trial, a couple of friends happened to ask why I haven't been updating this. I honestly have thought about it, but as much as I enjoy / need to bitch about things, the desire to do so just wasn't with me. Still, it was nice to know that at least someone remembered and enjoyed my rantings after all this time.
So I sign on this blogging site and look to see if any of my friends from here had done any blogging. Naturally, Evilpaul just doesn't stop, so his was up to date. Then I noticed several other people had made a few updates too. It was nice to see that blogging hadn't completely died out. To my surprise; however, was Dizzmal's recent post. I haven't talked to him in awhile, but he mentioned that he missed reading my rants. It was just funny to have two friends talk about this in-game, then see my name mentioned here the next day. To add to that, yesterday I get a /tell from someone that I had only just met who said he enjoyed reading my blog over the holiday too.
I'm not one to say I believe in fate, divine intervention, or the mysterious workings of the cosmos, but I do know how to take a hint. So again, I offer my apologies to all of my loyal minions who have waited for so long. Now then, on to the bitching, shall we?
April 21, 2011
Holding on
If anyone reads this, well color me surprised.
Granted, I haven't been gone long, but it feels like it. Anyway, I have a new job and that's been pretty fun. Actually, it's awesome. I'm a lot busier than before but I am not complaining (shocking, I know.) Apart from work, there have been some family issues that I'm working to resolve. Life would be so much easier if I didn't have a family, but I know I would be miserable without them.
The most interesting reason I've been away is because of an accident. Well, the family is pretty damn serious, but that's not something I'm going to get into here. Anyway, about this accident.
You see car accidents relatively often, but do you ever stop and think about the moment when it happened? I can understand why people who get in accidents get nervous once they are behind the wheel again. If you're one of the lucky people who have never been in an accident, I do hope you stay that way.
I was on my way home from work. I had a great day in the office and had just got out of the gym. If you know anything about my life beyond Vana'diel, then you know exactly how good it feels to be able to type the previous two sentences. It had just started to rain before I headed out. As I was approaching an intersection, I decided to move into the far right lane so I could take my usual shortcut. Behind me, there was another car who was apparently thinking the same thing.
I'm all for fast driving, as I can't stand being on the road. However, I'm smart enough to know that driving fast on a wet road full of cars is pretty fucking stupid. The person behind me didn't get that memo, unfortunately. They were driving relatively fast and Mr. Jackass figured I wasn't going fast enough so they got in front of me. The bad part about that isn't the fact that I was cut off, but where I was cutoff. Literally, this idiot got in front of me just a few car lengths from the intersection. I unfortunately had a knee-jerk reaction and hit the brakes, which then caused me to start hydroplaning. I guess the person realized that he also wouldn't be able to slow down fast enough without going out of control and then jumped back into the lane on his left, continuing through the intersection. It was too late for me and I ended up totaling my car. From that description, it doesn't sound like much. Now let me tell you what I saw in that short moment.
People say that time slows down when you're in an intense situation. It's like Bullet Time, only not in a cool way. Once I was cutoff, it was just an "oh-shit" moment. Then when I realized I couldn't stop and I was going to run into something, that's when the bullet time came into play. Going to the left would've put me right into the main traffic, which obviously wouldn't be a good idea. Turning right would've place me into a ditch. Heading straight was putting me on a collision course with a vehicle waiting for the light to change. Naturally, turning right seemed like the sensible choice, so that's what I did. Or rather, that's what I tried to do. The fun part about hydroplaning is that it's basically a big "fuck-you" to your steering ability. I was heading straight, and my efforts to turn weren't working as quickly as I wanted.
Everything gets louder and quieter in the same moment. The sounds of screeching wheels, your own heartbeat, breathing, and a sudden silence as the moment of impact approaches. The worst part of it all was the car in front of me on the intersecting lane. I looked straight ahead and saw them, staring at me. They knew I was about to hit them, but what could they do? What I could do, for that matter. I'm not even seconds from hitting them...I'm less than that. I can't imagine what the people in that car were thinking, but I know what I would be thinking. How can I protect the people with me? What can I do?
Let me put it to you this way...I felt absolutely helpless. Thankfully, I didn't hit them. What I did do was end up running off the road and totalling my vehicle. While I'm pretty pissed behind that, I take comfort in knowing that the people I was heading towards were spared. I'm more pissed that the fucker who cut me off managed to just drive on his way and never look back.
Anyway, I'm alive and so are the others. That counts more than anything. I was bit banged up, but I'm fine now. I have no idea why I decided to share that with you all, but there it is.
Now on to Vana'diel. I reactivated my content ID yesterday and signed on. Surprisingly, I was almost immediately greeted with several "Yay! You're back!" tells. Quite honestly, I'm surprised people noticed. Not to say that it wasn't appreciated. It truly was; it was simply unexpected.
One thing I did notice when I signed on is that my head started hurting. Do we just get used to the lag and other shit that's present in this game? Christ, I couldn't bear to watch things for more than a few minutes. Maybe it's because I've been fiddling with Crysis 2 and I'm used to that. FFXI just seems horridly outdated. Well, I guess it is, but we love it anyway.
Whatever, I'll bitch about things later. I have a headache and I'm also at work. I should do my job, for at least a little while.
Granted, I haven't been gone long, but it feels like it. Anyway, I have a new job and that's been pretty fun. Actually, it's awesome. I'm a lot busier than before but I am not complaining (shocking, I know.) Apart from work, there have been some family issues that I'm working to resolve. Life would be so much easier if I didn't have a family, but I know I would be miserable without them.
The most interesting reason I've been away is because of an accident. Well, the family is pretty damn serious, but that's not something I'm going to get into here. Anyway, about this accident.
You see car accidents relatively often, but do you ever stop and think about the moment when it happened? I can understand why people who get in accidents get nervous once they are behind the wheel again. If you're one of the lucky people who have never been in an accident, I do hope you stay that way.
I was on my way home from work. I had a great day in the office and had just got out of the gym. If you know anything about my life beyond Vana'diel, then you know exactly how good it feels to be able to type the previous two sentences. It had just started to rain before I headed out. As I was approaching an intersection, I decided to move into the far right lane so I could take my usual shortcut. Behind me, there was another car who was apparently thinking the same thing.
I'm all for fast driving, as I can't stand being on the road. However, I'm smart enough to know that driving fast on a wet road full of cars is pretty fucking stupid. The person behind me didn't get that memo, unfortunately. They were driving relatively fast and Mr. Jackass figured I wasn't going fast enough so they got in front of me. The bad part about that isn't the fact that I was cut off, but where I was cutoff. Literally, this idiot got in front of me just a few car lengths from the intersection. I unfortunately had a knee-jerk reaction and hit the brakes, which then caused me to start hydroplaning. I guess the person realized that he also wouldn't be able to slow down fast enough without going out of control and then jumped back into the lane on his left, continuing through the intersection. It was too late for me and I ended up totaling my car. From that description, it doesn't sound like much. Now let me tell you what I saw in that short moment.
People say that time slows down when you're in an intense situation. It's like Bullet Time, only not in a cool way. Once I was cutoff, it was just an "oh-shit" moment. Then when I realized I couldn't stop and I was going to run into something, that's when the bullet time came into play. Going to the left would've put me right into the main traffic, which obviously wouldn't be a good idea. Turning right would've place me into a ditch. Heading straight was putting me on a collision course with a vehicle waiting for the light to change. Naturally, turning right seemed like the sensible choice, so that's what I did. Or rather, that's what I tried to do. The fun part about hydroplaning is that it's basically a big "fuck-you" to your steering ability. I was heading straight, and my efforts to turn weren't working as quickly as I wanted.
Everything gets louder and quieter in the same moment. The sounds of screeching wheels, your own heartbeat, breathing, and a sudden silence as the moment of impact approaches. The worst part of it all was the car in front of me on the intersecting lane. I looked straight ahead and saw them, staring at me. They knew I was about to hit them, but what could they do? What I could do, for that matter. I'm not even seconds from hitting them...I'm less than that. I can't imagine what the people in that car were thinking, but I know what I would be thinking. How can I protect the people with me? What can I do?
Let me put it to you this way...I felt absolutely helpless. Thankfully, I didn't hit them. What I did do was end up running off the road and totalling my vehicle. While I'm pretty pissed behind that, I take comfort in knowing that the people I was heading towards were spared. I'm more pissed that the fucker who cut me off managed to just drive on his way and never look back.
Anyway, I'm alive and so are the others. That counts more than anything. I was bit banged up, but I'm fine now. I have no idea why I decided to share that with you all, but there it is.
Now on to Vana'diel. I reactivated my content ID yesterday and signed on. Surprisingly, I was almost immediately greeted with several "Yay! You're back!" tells. Quite honestly, I'm surprised people noticed. Not to say that it wasn't appreciated. It truly was; it was simply unexpected.
One thing I did notice when I signed on is that my head started hurting. Do we just get used to the lag and other shit that's present in this game? Christ, I couldn't bear to watch things for more than a few minutes. Maybe it's because I've been fiddling with Crysis 2 and I'm used to that. FFXI just seems horridly outdated. Well, I guess it is, but we love it anyway.
Whatever, I'll bitch about things later. I have a headache and I'm also at work. I should do my job, for at least a little while.
January 15, 2011
Wishing for simpler times
First thing's first. I apologize. I've been without a PC for awhile and it's been making me a little crazy. I've been very busy in the world of FFXI but haven't had a means to convey my actions to all of you. No promises of a long blog explaining what has happened since then, but there is one thing I'd like to mention.
See, I joined this small group of people a few weeks ago for Abyssea. Just a few people, and usually 3 or 4 during each event. Fights were exciting and since the group was small, people seemed to bond a bit faster. We were getting items and gear constantly, and it was just incredibly fun.
Then more people came.
I'm not sure how to explain my reaction. A bit of selfishness mixed with hesitation, but still optimistic. I don't know what the definition of "lowman" is, so I'm not sure if we are still a small group or not. Most of the new people are names that I didn't know, so that always makes things a little uncomfortable. Aside from the obvious part of gear acquisition slowing down, now events just take longer. Takes longer to start because we're waiting for so many more people. When everyone gathers, we have to wait while it's decided what we're going to do. More people = more decisions = more time spent planning.
Fights aren't as simple as they were before. I swear it takes longer to do the fights now than it did before. Maybe that's my mind playing tricks, but it sure seems like things went smoother and faster when we first started. Turul excluded, mind you. That thing's just a bastard. Now I see people getting frustrated, events lasting even longer than before, and it just doesn't seem as enjoyable anymore. Still, I can't help but think back to a few weeks ago when it was just a few people having a good time in Abyssea.
You'd think that me saying all this means that I don't like linkshells or large group events. Well, I do admit that lowmanning seems easier, but this is a large scale MMO. It makes sense to have events with a lot of people. In all honesty, I still like that. It's just that this group started out small and fun. As we expand, things just don't seem that way anymore.
I know my thoughts are selfish, and it's probably a bad thing to even admit them. These are all nice people. I feel pretty crappy for thinking this way. Still, a part of me really does wish that it would just go back to when it was all so simple.
It's late and I'm tired. Maybe my mind will be different in the morning. Happier rants await!
See, I joined this small group of people a few weeks ago for Abyssea. Just a few people, and usually 3 or 4 during each event. Fights were exciting and since the group was small, people seemed to bond a bit faster. We were getting items and gear constantly, and it was just incredibly fun.
Then more people came.
I'm not sure how to explain my reaction. A bit of selfishness mixed with hesitation, but still optimistic. I don't know what the definition of "lowman" is, so I'm not sure if we are still a small group or not. Most of the new people are names that I didn't know, so that always makes things a little uncomfortable. Aside from the obvious part of gear acquisition slowing down, now events just take longer. Takes longer to start because we're waiting for so many more people. When everyone gathers, we have to wait while it's decided what we're going to do. More people = more decisions = more time spent planning.
Fights aren't as simple as they were before. I swear it takes longer to do the fights now than it did before. Maybe that's my mind playing tricks, but it sure seems like things went smoother and faster when we first started. Turul excluded, mind you. That thing's just a bastard. Now I see people getting frustrated, events lasting even longer than before, and it just doesn't seem as enjoyable anymore. Still, I can't help but think back to a few weeks ago when it was just a few people having a good time in Abyssea.
You'd think that me saying all this means that I don't like linkshells or large group events. Well, I do admit that lowmanning seems easier, but this is a large scale MMO. It makes sense to have events with a lot of people. In all honesty, I still like that. It's just that this group started out small and fun. As we expand, things just don't seem that way anymore.
I know my thoughts are selfish, and it's probably a bad thing to even admit them. These are all nice people. I feel pretty crappy for thinking this way. Still, a part of me really does wish that it would just go back to when it was all so simple.
It's late and I'm tired. Maybe my mind will be different in the morning. Happier rants await!
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