That didn't take long

What day did I come back here?  Saturday, I think.  So it's Monday morning and I'm already having panic attacks.  Damn this game, I swear.

Last night, I was invited to hang out and help with The Hills Are Alive KSNM.  As luck would have it, I also needed the egg from that fight and just happened to have exactly 99 Kindred Seals left to my name.  So I switched to Dark Knight in order to help out with skillchains (Samurai would've been better, but I was lazy) and headed to the battlefield.  We didn't do many fights...4 total, I think, but we ended up going 2/4 with the eggs.  As it turns out, I was one of the two lucky winners.  So now I have all three items to get a black belt for my Monk class that I have sorely neglected.  Yay me!

Hoping to skip past the nonsense of the purple and brown belt quests, I borrowed a brown belt from Bey and ran to Neptune's Spire.  Of course it couldn't be that easy.  Head held down, I walked out of the spire and looked up where all these stupid NMs spawn.  Due to my packrat nature, I had most of what I needed for both belts.  I was just missing Nue's Fang, Malborger's Vine, and a Rampaging Horn.  Off to Nue I go, I suppose.

I didn't spend much time out there before it spawned, and I was lucky to go 1/1 with it.  That made me happy.  So next up was that damn Marlboro.  After spending what seemed like an hour just to reach the spawn location, I was somewhat thankful in the knowledge that no one could possibly stumble upon this NM by accident and kill it out of boredom.  To reach this thing, you have to want to find it.  I arrive at the spawn location and notice it isn't around.  Son of a bitch.  Who the hell thought it was a good idea to come kill this thing when I want to do my quest?  People are so inconsiderate.  Looking at the spawn conditions, I realize this isn't something I'm just going to sit and wait for.  21-24 hour timed spawn.  Yeah, screw that.  However!  It was 10am and we had an impending update coming.  I figured maybe we'd have a server reset and the NM would spawn when they came back up.  I let myself time out there during maintenance and hopped on as soon as the servers were back.  To my dismay, no NM.  So I'm back to being flustered.  Next I decide to run out and find this Rampaging Ram.  Naturally, I've been out here for 2.5 hours with no spawn.

The frustration level was rising, and I'm already recovering from the flu.  Added stress isn't something I should be pursuing.  While doing all this, I'm watching some chatter in an LS that I'm visiting (I don't consider myself a memeber right now).  Of course, by no fault of their own, it's the usual "x event is so easy, I can solo such-and-such NM, look at all my shinies" conversation that takes places everywhere I try to avoid.  Chatter like that directly hits my self-esteem for whatever reason, and compound that with the frustration over this quest and I began to feel myself slipping away into that void of self-doubt that I seem to find myself in more often than not.

Before I let myself go completely, I zoned out for a moment.  I have to stop doing this to myself.  The reality of it is that I truly am trying too damn hard to keep up with people.  That's where I'm wrong.  I don't have to keep up.  What I have to do is be me.  That is what got me to the point where I am today as a player.  Of course, this doesn't mean that I will give up my desire to have nice things.  That's stupid.  I am still going to work on my Empyreans, and one day, I will have a relic.  I want to join a Neo-Nyzul Isle static and get awesome gear from there, as well as do the new Einherjar and Limbus.  By no means is this is a declaration of living contently with what I have no and relinquish all desire to improve.  It is; however, a realization that if I don't stop swatting the ghost of my own iniquity, that I am going to cause myself serious pain.

Over time, I have come to develop that elitist mentality, and I am worse off for it.  I have a saying in my bazaar, "You are what you believe yourself to be."  It's true, and I am becoming a victim of such thoughts.  I believe that I am not a good enough player to be considered among the upper echelon of people.  I have had numerous people say things to the contrary, but my self-esteem doesn't allow me to believe them.  I've run parses and have come out on top or within the top 3 during several fights.  I am not some incompetent person who operates without a clue and just "lols" through every screw up.  I learn from my mistakes and always strive to improve.  I have blogs written about me by my friends.  I don't know what I've done, but I must have done "something" right in my time here.

Sure, my name my never appear in the FFXIAH listing, and I might live my entire FFXI life without more than a handful of people who know who I am.  However, those who do know me have stated many times that they enjoy my presence.  Hell, some of them even adore me, and I adore them.  That means something.  Will I ever reach the ranks of the top-end players?  Probably not, and I have to learn to be ok with that.  Chasing the love of those who don't know me while shunning the love of those next to me will inevitably leave me a very lonely and isolated player...as well as a person.

So, I'll continue my farming of these stupid ass NMs and slowly make my way to having another Empyrean weapon.  I'll work on the rest of my projects and finish what I can in the time that I can afford to give them.  If hanging out with my friends means that I don't get whatever awesome item is out at the exact moment of release, that's ok too.  What matters is that I don't lose myself in the process, and that I keep those precious few friends of mine close.  Ranking be damned.

Of course, saying this is easy.  Making myself believe it and stick to it will be the challenge.  I can do it, right?

I don't even know what to say...

Yep.

I did it.  Again.  Again.

Heaven only knows why.  Actually, I think I might know too.  History says this will be a short return, but whatever.  So I've been away from here, living this thing called life.  Working more hours, doing instruction, bought a car, etc, etc.  Played some different games and have been generally enjoying myself.  Well, not really.  Still stuck in the single life, which is a whole different brand of depressing, but truly...I play videogames and have a personal blog about it.  Even E-Harmony couldn't find a match.  Another story for another time.

So here I am...back in Vana'diel.  All I can say is...what...the...fuck.  Why?  Why the hell am I here?????  I signed on last night after realizing my time with Borderlands has become nothing more than farming and fighting the same damn boss over and over again in the hopes of getting a rare weapon that will let me kill another boss over and over and over again.  Of course, I miss my friends in Vana'diel, but it's not as if coming back here is suddenly going to make them all gravitate to me and want to hang out.

I saw some familiar faces, and was even greeted with excitement by a few.  Several "Welcome Backs" and even got flirted with a bit.  Oh, I was also told to write about how awesome Swk is, so...let everyone know that Swk is awesome because I'm saying so.  Don't argue with my words.

It was great to see Regan, Lillie, Alerith, Garn, Dierdren, Swk, Darkdestroyer, Keyoku, Doccan, and several others.  I even got invited to a pick up group for Neo-Nyzul Isle.  You know I was excited to do that because I couldn't get that even when I was in a top-tier linkshell.

Anyway, back to why I'm here.  I don't know.  Nothing has changed.  Drop rates still suck; people still dual-box the hell out of NMs and apparently not having a relic means you're a shitty player and should live a life of shame.  Granted, I've only been here for a few hours since last night, but I haven't seen anything that makes me think Vana'diel is any different from several months ago.

They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same action under the exact same conditions while expecting a different outcome.

I suppose that means two things.  I either need to change the way I view and play this game so I can enjoy it like so many high-end players, or just accept the fact that I must be insane and continue to drive myself to boredom and insanity while standing around Port Jeuno...hoping for something different.

The third option would be to just walk away from this game, but we've seen how well that worked out.

You idiot.

So much anger. So much hate. I don't have tears of sadness, but sheer rage. What's worse is that I can't blame or lash out at anyone but myself.

I was staring it right in the face. My eyes read over the text multiple times. I even talked about it with my linkshell mates. Why didn't I stop? Why didn't something in my head click and make me realize what I was about to do?

What am I talking about? You can probably already guess. A bazaar purchase. The things people laugh about on Blugartr and such. As they say, there is a sucker born every minute. I just became one.

Dynamis currency seems to be the latest scam people are doing. Sell singles for the price of a 100. Since so many are trying to raise the price, people are constantly rushing for a good deal...or what appears to be one.

I've been spotting these ripoffs for awhile now, and today my sense of awareness failed me. I walked away from his / her bazaar feeling really satisfied that I had made a good purchase. I happened to look at another bazaar and saw the same thing I bought, but an incredible amount cheaper. I looked twice at the other bazaar, thinking "wait..why are they selling so low?". Then a sinking feeling hit me and I realized they weren't selling low at all.

My 4 million gil deal just turned into me paying 3.9 million gil more than I should have. I went numb. This just happened, and all I can do is stare at my screen. I pick up my controller and don't move. A friend is asking me what I want to go do and I can't think. If I had millions upon millions to spare, maybe I'd just be pissed and move on. It's not like that, and I can't do shit about it.

Can't yell at the seller because it was a fair transaction. The price was in plain sight, the game asked for confirmation...I have no defense. I fell victim to someone's greed and my own oversight.

For the rest of, please double and triple check people's bazaars. I would hate for any of you to feel what I am right now.

In case you're wondering, the person's name is Moooch. Fitting, eh?

Sensitivity Training

If you're new to this blog, there are probably quite a few things you don't know about me. Then again, you could've been here from the start and still not understand me. One thing about me is that I am highly (and I do mean highly) sensitive. I don't mean that break into tears when I see the sunset, or I'll curl in the fetal position if you insult me. Not at all. My sensitivity comes up on the subject of racism and sexism.

What does this have to do with FFXI? Incoming QQ folks.

It has a lot to do with it. Perhaps it's not just FFXI, but I have never seen so much of it elsewhere. I spend a lot of time online in this game; maybe way more than I should. I guess that is why I see so much anger, sexism, and racial slurs. I know a lot of it has to do with the internet and its anonymity. No identity, no repercussions = no cares. There's a study about it, but I'm typing on my phone and can't look at more than one page at a time. Plus I'm doing Logwatch. Yay logsm

Anyway, back to the game. I see this stuff everyday, and recently it's really begun to take its toll on me. The use of things such as (anyone offended by these things....leave now.) " niggers, japs, bitch (for women), faggot," and whatever else you can think of. Or when people sit around make jokes about rape and dead babies. Really people, since when was a woman being raped or seeing a dead child ever considered funny? I'm not so naïve to think that I can go somewhere and never be exposed to such...verbal garbage, but to see it EVERY SINGLE DAY?? I think what upsets me more than seeing / hearing it are the excuses people give for it.

"Oh come on, it's just a word."
"It should only offend you if it applies to you."
"I don't have strong English."
"I'm not really like this. I'm just joking around."

Naturally, this only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bullshit excuses. These aren't just words; they have serious meanings to them. The sticks and stones phrase we were taught as children was an outright lie. Words have started wars; they have motivated people to give their lives for a cause, and driven others to take their lives. To say that these words, which have a meaning deeply rooted in fear, ignorance, or hate is simply "just a word" absolutely baffles me. Worst yet are the people who say they don't have a problem with the people these words are meant to insult and are actually very caring and sympathetic to what they have gone through. Well...if that is how you feel, then why the hell are you letting these words come out of your mouth?

I really don't know what to say about these things. Am I too sensitive? Should I be like the rest and just completely forgot what these words have done to people over the years? If I'm supposed to jump in and be on board with the Internet Hate Machine, then I am sorry to say that I won't be joining. Caliburn says that I simply still value the meaning of words. I just wish that so many others could do the same.

But...I thought you liked it hard?

So much to complain about, but my computer is broken and I'm too lazy to build a new one.

Anyway, remember when they announced the level increase and the rumors about the battle to take place? If you browsed the forums for any length of time, you would run into post after post after post of people begging the developers for a challenging fight. No, they didn't want to just grab a few Kindred's Seals or Crest and spend 20 merits. Nope. They wanted a fight. A real fight that would take everything they had learned and force them to come up with new methods for taking down a new and incredibly challenging boss.

Or 1 White Mage, 4 Monks, and a Summoner with Alexander.

I'll have to look back on the forums, but I'll be damned if someone didn't call this. They saw it coming. Not the setup, per se, but the reaction of the players. As soon as someone found a method to win, it would become the standard and people wouldn't bother to actually try any other way. So much for the challenging fight, right? Who needs to think about any strategy when you can just go in with Perfect Defense, Hundred Fists, and just spam Asuran Fists until you win?

Not only has it become the standard, along with a Black Mage Manaburn style, but people are being shunned away and unable to join in the fight if they don't have that specific job leveled. This is what amazes me. What happened guys? I thought you wanted a challenge? I thought you wanted this to be super difficult since it's the last level increase we'll have? So why are you turning away that 95 Dancer who's asking to join, or the 93 Bard who's been looking for days? Oh, is it because they don't fit the guaranteed winning method? Could it be that you're a hypocrite?

/gasp! It can't be true, can it?

Of course it is. People are full of shit in this game. Clamoring and crying about wanting a challenge, only so you can find the quickest, cheapest, and highest rate of success setup. Post it on wiki, and never actually think about trying a different setup. Of course, there's the other side to that argument, where you're just trying stupid setups for the hell of it. (ie 5 Bards and 1 PUP, or something equally stupid).

Now to deal with the "what's wrong with being efficient? Who wants to do a hard fight when you can just use that method to win and move on?" type of people. What's wrong with it, you ask? It's wrong because you begged for them to make it hard. That's what's wrong with it. You, the players, asked them to make a hard fight. Something that would kick your ass if you didn't have your A-game ready. That's what you got. A Tarutaru Monk who put you on the floor without even blinking, and what did you do? You turned-tail and ran away, looking for some cheap ass method to win. You found it, used it, and now go around Port Jeuno telling the people who need the win about how easy the fight is.

A few days ago, I was in Altepa with Alerith, and we were going to try Bennu. Is it an incredibly hard fight? No it isn't, but we decided to go with a non-standard setup of NIN/WAR and PLD/RDM. Things were fine and moving along nicely until one fight when we had Bennu, Ouzelum, and two other adds on us. It went from a smooth fight to chaotic, but we held it together. When it was over, we felt pretty damn good. As a matter of fact, we felt great. We went as a non-standard setup, had a difficult battle, and won. While it's nothing to run around bragging about, it made us both feel good. Could we have made it easier? Of course we could have, but where's the challenge in making things easy?

When they first released the level cap, I was waiting and hoping that this wouldn't happen. Maybe we actually would go into battle and have a really difficult fight that we could walk out of with our heads held high because we overcame a serious challenge. Something that made level 99 mean something. Unfortunately, being level 99 mostly means you happen to know a few Monks and a Summoner.

Hooray for challenges.

Speaking of wasting time

Voidwatch

This has got to be the worst event ever created in my few years of playing FFXI. I've known that ever since I first started this game, it's designed to take time. Nothing just happens or is given to you. You wanted a relic, you had to make a serious effort to get the currency. Nyzul Isle, Salvage, Einherjar, upgrading gear, getting drops from NMs...nothing ever happened quickly. As much as dislike that aspect of FFXI, I have nonetheless accepted it as I continue to play this game.

Voidwatch; however, is completely different. It's the Corsair's dice of end game events. Meaning it's all luck. Though I find even that somewhat questionable. Of course, you have the people who just say "stop QQ'ing and just spam." To those people who even think this system makes sense or is remotely tolerable, I have to say...you're flat-out stupid.

Someone explain to me how Voidwatch is fair, reasonable, or even enjoyable? It's nothing more than trigger-zerg fest for anyone involved. It involves absolutely no strategy. Buy an abyssite that not only tells you what the NM is weak to, but even tells you the damn job it's weak against. I'd figure that for the "regular" NMs in Abyssea or something. These new NMs practically hand you their weakness, and it's not like you had to work hard to get this abyssite either. It's not like this one, where you actually had to put some effort behind it. Not at all, just grab a stratum abyssite to take part in the event, and buy the corresponding abyssite that tells you a weakness. From the start, people. I'm not even going into the temporary item spam that we all use.

But that's only a minor gripe of Voidwatch. What pisses me off is the "reward system," if you even dare to call it that. Kill the NM and run up to the treasure chest. Logs, SE? Really...logs. Is this your hidden way of saying that Woodworking is going to be a primary craft skill in future updates? Of course, not all of us get logs. Some of us actually get useful items, which is nice. Unless you happen to already have said item, which then just goes to waste. Oh, you didn't know? There's no treasure pool in Voidwatch. Nope, it all goes to you. So if you happen to come across something like...oh, a Mekira body piece, or a piece of Athos's armor and you already have it...well, oops. You can't trade what you have, and you can't put it in a treasure pool for someone else. It just goes to waste. So we're spamming fights for a random chance to receive an item, while those who actually have the item run the risk of receiving it multiple times and throwing it away because it can't be traded or put in a pool. Makes perfect sense.

Then it hit me like a giant ton of Marid crap. Voidwatch is a time waster until the next update. That's all it is. The whole event is designed to do nothing more than waste time. They knew that players would find a way to beat these NMs quickly with the stupid ass trigger system they put in place. They allow us to basically stagger lock an NM for the entire duration of the fight, so why create a reward system that would actually allow us to get the good drops from the fight? Make it the most idiotic, wasteful, and senseless system imaginable so we have no choice but to spam it.

Of course, we as players are stupid and have this "I need" mentality so we'll sit there, doing fight after fight after fight after fight. Wasting the stones the game naturally gives us and then going so far as to pay for void dust so we can have more logs fill up our inventory. When you step back and look at it, we are some damn idiots. The entire model around Voidwatch is designed to get us to waste our time and gil...and we eat that shit up.

Square Enix knows that, and uses it to their full advantage.

Wishing for simpler times

First thing's first. I apologize. I've been without a PC for awhile and it's been making me a little crazy. I've been very busy in the world of FFXI but haven't had a means to convey my actions to all of you. No promises of a long blog explaining what has happened since then, but there is one thing I'd like to mention.

See, I joined this small group of people a few weeks ago for Abyssea. Just a few people, and usually 3 or 4 during each event. Fights were exciting and since the group was small, people seemed to bond a bit faster. We were getting items and gear constantly, and it was just incredibly fun.

Then more people came.

I'm not sure how to explain my reaction. A bit of selfishness mixed with hesitation, but still optimistic. I don't know what the definition of "lowman" is, so I'm not sure if we are still a small group or not. Most of the new people are names that I didn't know, so that always makes things a little uncomfortable. Aside from the obvious part of gear acquisition slowing down, now events just take longer. Takes longer to start because we're waiting for so many more people. When everyone gathers, we have to wait while it's decided what we're going to do. More people = more decisions = more time spent planning.

Fights aren't as simple as they were before. I swear it takes longer to do the fights now than it did before. Maybe that's my mind playing tricks, but it sure seems like things went smoother and faster when we first started. Turul excluded, mind you. That thing's just a bastard. Now I see people getting frustrated, events lasting even longer than before, and it just doesn't seem as enjoyable anymore. Still, I can't help but think back to a few weeks ago when it was just a few people having a good time in Abyssea.

You'd think that me saying all this means that I don't like linkshells or large group events. Well, I do admit that lowmanning seems easier, but this is a large scale MMO. It makes sense to have events with a lot of people. In all honesty, I still like that. It's just that this group started out small and fun. As we expand, things just don't seem that way anymore.

I know my thoughts are selfish, and it's probably a bad thing to even admit them. These are all nice people. I feel pretty crappy for thinking this way. Still, a part of me really does wish that it would just go back to when it was all so simple.

It's late and I'm tired. Maybe my mind will be different in the morning. Happier rants await!

Why does this continue?

Among you, who likes to repeat themselves? Do you enjoy the sound of your voice as you dictate rules and actions to other people? I can't personally say that I'm a fan of saying the same thing over and over to people. You know what this is about, so let's jump in.

Good old Abyssea.

Bigger should be better, but...

Remember when I said that small groups are better than alliances? I have been waiting, no...praying for someone to prove me wrong. Show me where an alliance just obliterates a small group in every aspect. Since that post, I have yet to see this come to pass.

Outside of Abyssea, this isn't so simple. We're not talking about that though. Recently, I've been doing some late night runs with new acquaintances of mine. We usually go with about 3-4 people consistently, but have seen times when we actually have a full party. When I first started, I was a nervous wreck. I'm just used to alliance-style fighting. Seeing a low-man group attempt things that I've witnessed 18+ people die to just makes me a little uneasy. Though it's only been a couple of weeks, I can now say that I absolutely loathe fighting in large groups.

Honestly, I'm saddened to say such a thing. Because I love having lots of people around. I like being social and having a bunch of friends or random people come together to accomplish a goal. It's supposed to make things more enjoyable, right? Hell no. It makes things infinitely more complex and wasteful than it should be. Does that knowledge not infuriate you?

Why can't people just listen and do as they are asked? Tell me why alliances take forever to trigger atma on NMs? Or why an NM who can absorb damage at specific intervals go from 10% to 60% in a matter of seconds? It's as if people just become stupid when they are part of a large group. See, I told you people that the Rule of 5 is never wrong.

You get a small group and watch things flow like melted butter. Get an alliance together and that shit becomes as smooth as cold molasses mixed with sand. I'll give you an example.

My first successful fight with Glavoid was done with a small group. I was invited to come along as a Corsair and you know I wouldn't pass that up. It was just over a full party, but some were waiting outside just in case things went wrong. It didn't. The fight I had previously didn't go so well due to a lack of time and plain inexperience, but I don't have a problem with that. The time after that (fight #3) was done with another linkshell, and I was going crazy inside.

Anyone who's read about Glavoid knows that it can absorb damage depending on the action it's doing. When it's doing a TP move, it absorbs physical damage. When it's casting a spell, you guessed it, Glavoid absorbs magic. So let's take a quick look at what might happen in an alliance.

[10:30:01] Glavoid readies Dessication
[10:30:02] Player A readies Tachi: Gekko
[10:30:02] Player B readies Sidewinder
[10:30:02] Player C readies Guillotine
[10:30:02] Player D readies Asuran Fists
[10:30:10] Glavoid starts casting Stonega IV
[10:30:11] Player E starts casting Burst II on the Glavoid
[10:30:11] Player F starts casting Blizzard III on the Glavoid

You know this isn't made up. I have a great imagination, but there are some things that I simply just can't fabricate. The sad part about this is that if you take ANY of those same people and put them into a low-man group, they would probably do just fine. Put them in a big group and their mind goes to shit.

Triggering weaknesses in an alliance is a huge pain in the ass too. I don't know what people think when they're fighting. It's a bit counterproductive to constantly beat down the enemy you're trying to trigger a weakness on, but people continue to use the primary NM as their source of TP instead of the enemies in the surrounding area. Why are people still telling others not to TP on the NM? Why do I see these all the time: "Get off the fucking NM!" "Stop TP'ng the NM" "Use the NQ mobs for TP" "DD get off the NM!"

You would think that people knew that stuff already. I mean, weaknesses are nothing new anymore. Still, people don't get it. Or they use the awesome excuse of lag. I call bullshit on that one. Lag will affect you for a couple of seconds. You might do an extra attack round, or maybe even two. Attacking the enemy for over a minute is not lag; it's just stupid.

Reading is hard.

There is something else that absolutely kills me with large groups: reading chat logs.

I cannot tell you how crazy it makes me when you have to repeat things you said only seconds before. It happened outside of Abyssea, but I see it much more often inside now. Say you've just warped to Abyssea - Vunkerl and it's time to do your event. Now that you and the leader are inside, the following occurs:

[18:02:05] Leader: Ok everyone, head to Conflux 3 and start killing so we can build time.
[18:02:15] Player A: /
[18:02:16] Player B: /
[18:02:16] Player C: omw
[18:02:20] Player D: which conflux?
[18:02:23] Leader: Conflux 3
[18:02:26] Player E: Sorry, zoned. Which Conflux?
[18:02:27] Player A: #3
[18:02:29] Player F: Hey guys! Which Conflux?

First offense: Player D. Learn to scroll up and read the goddamn chat log. Chances are that everything you're going to ask has already been answered.

Second offense: Player E. Stop lying. How do you know you missed something if you zoned? Text doesn't appear in the window during the zoning, and if it appears just before you zone, guess where it is? It's in the chat log, so scroll up and read it.

Third offense: Player F. Just because you're friendly doesn't mean you can't be stupid. Coming into the group with a great big smile and a friendly wave doesn't excuse idiocy or laziness when asking a question that's already been answered multiple times. Once again, read the chat log.

Free lot??

This is probably my biggest pet peeve in Abyssea. Lotting. There seems to be a few standard rules that can apply to how drops are handled in Abyssea now: Free Lot; Lot if you have the job; Lot if you can use it while in the party; and Auto Sort.

Truth be told, the only rule I will actually stand by is the second one. It makes sense. If you can use the item, then you should be able to lot it. It drives me crazy to see people lotting on stuff that they have no intention of using and simply want to sell it. Sure, people need gil for things and I get that. At the same time, if there is someone in your party who can really use it, why not let them? Is it really necessary to be that selfish? This goes hand in hand with Rule 3, which is really rarely ever used as it applies to mages more than anything else. Still, if there's an 85 BLM in the party and Aspir II drops, let them have it. It's not going to hurt you to pass on that item so someone else might be able to better themselves. Or Kindred Crests. Damn it people, stop bitching when someone lots those. Who gives a damn, it's a crest. If they need to unlock their next level increase, shut up and let those people lot. Or would you rather that they sit at 80 / 85 for the entire time they're in the party and hope that the seals auto sort to them?

Free Lot just encourages greed. It means that anyone with space can just lot the whole damn treasure pool without regard to anyone. Or the worst part is when you have idiots who random or lot on shit and don't know what it's for. I want to kill those people so badly. They're usually the ones who lot 950+ on items and then say "what does this do?" It's a good thing I don't lead alliances because I would be one kick-happy leader.

Auto Sort. Dear lord I hate auto sort. Let stuff like ingots and zinc ore go to auto sort. I can understand that. Spells should *never* go to auto sort. There is someone in that alliance who can use it. People say that lotting slows the party down. I disagree. Most actions are merely an /assist macro while waiting for 100% TP to do your weaponskill. Healers are the only ones who may not be able to constantly check the treasure pool, but things don't just vanish immediately from there. You want to know what slows parties down? The people who have to go afk for 20 minutes every 15 minutes that they're in the party. Those who always have an emergency whenever they're in the party. The kids who join alliances just before dinner time and then go away for an hour while expecting to be able to leech while they enjoy their meal. That is what slows down a party. Checking a treasure pool to get something you might actually need doesn't.

It feels so good to rant, I tell you.

Let the lulz commence

Just like clockwork, SE has released more notes about the upcoming version update. As expected, it contains quite a few surprises, both good and bad. While I'm always nervous that something will inevitably break or become nerfed, one thing that I can always count on is crying.

Currently, the loudest whiners are the Dark Knights. See why I chose not to level this class? Imagine how emo I'd be right now as opposed to just bitchy. Yes, you got a crappy and ultimately useless job trait. We know you can't parry worth a damn, so a trait that rewards you for something you more or less never do is insulting. I completely agree with your anger. You even got another shitty ability to intimidate arcana, which has been non-existent in Abyssea. Again, useless.

I understand your frustration. I'd be pissed too. What I wouldn't be crying about is this bullshit concept that your class has been put in a grave and can no longer be considered a viable DD option just because Warrior and Monk got some nifty stuff that you didn't. If you couldn't do shit to keep up with them before, don't get pissy about it now. While I'm sure their new abilities are going to be nice and shiny for now, you don't know how they're going to actually be used until the update. For all you know, there might be something else in store for DRK around the corner.

What I find especially amusing, with any class that feels left out, are the people who spent their FFXI lives on a job and then make all these threats to quit. Stop that already. You're only as useless as you make yourself. I remember a DRK in an Abyssea party who bragged non-stop about how he rarely needed to be healed as long as he had haste due to the curative properties of the Catastrophe weaponskill. Going on and on about his awesome damage and whatnot. Now that he got two useless abilities that don't hinder his current performance, he's threatening to quit. Really now. You're going to quit because SE seems to be leaving you in the same state that you're currently in? You'll still do great damage, won't need healing, and can still kick ass...yet you want to quit? Do you guys think about the things you say before you say it?

Cry when things are taken away. Scream and shout when they reduce your effectiveness. Threaten to quit when they take everything good about Dark Knight and reduce it to rubble. But seriously, don't bitch just because you got something you probably won't ever use.

If it makes you feel better, just remember the skillchain bonus trait that Dancers got. Cause you know, everyone wants Dancers to use their TP for weaponskills and not healing / sambas.

That special group

You know what I wish I had more than anything else in this game? It's not gear, gil, power, or anything of that sort. What I desire is to have a small group of competent and skilled friends.

Now, I actually do have friends who are very skilled. Extremely skilled, in some cases. However, they are rarely available. Those who are available aren't usually around at consistent times, or I can only find one or two people at any given moment. Because of this, I usually wind up doing a lot of things on my own or with pickup groups if I'm lucky.

I truly don't understand why it seems so difficult for me to find a small group that I fit into. This should not be confused with a feeling of isolation with my current LS; I don't feel that at all. It's quite the opposite. I'm very much at home with this group. Well, when I can access the vent server, at least. Right now, I'm a bit detached from them because of some internet problems, but that's another tale.

What I'm talking about is that group of friends that you run out and do small things with. You know, go fight some NMs, do some quests or missions, farm some items...that sort of thing. That's the kind of group I want to be in, but my friends are always so scattered or already in their established groups. I don't always think about this type of deal, but a recent event brought it to the forefront of my thoughts. Are you ready for a story, my wonderful minions? Here we go.

---

A couple of posts back, I mentioned I had returned to leveling Summoner. I definitely like the job, but I had more or less retired that class. There's a reason behind everything I do, even when it appears trivial. Remember all the talk about improving some of my primary jobs? Summoner was never on that list, but I've been using that job more often than not lately. The reason behind this is because there are some other items in Abyssea that I am after, and really don't want to bother my LS or other people for. Items that are important to me don't necessarily have that same meaning for anyone else.

Enter the realm of the Iron Giants. I'm sure you've seen shouts for their items in Port Jeuno while you're looking for a party. Well, in my quest to improve, I noticed that these enemies have a few items that would be really useful to me. The first giant on the list for me is Ironclad Severer. I chose this one for multiple reasons. With this one, I could improve 2 jobs that are very useful in Abyssea (BLM / SMN) and there is also an item that would really help me with my melee TP set for Dancer, Corsair, and quite possibly even Ranger.

The next step was figuring out how to beat it. This is where SMN came into play. Could I do it with other jobs more effectively? I actually think I could do it faster as an RDM, but I still don't have wyrmal legs for movement speed. Though I have the Atma of Ambition, I think I'd be cutting just a bit too close for comfort. If I do ever get those pants, I'll certainly give it a shot. So I get SMN leveled, merited, and head off to find this thing. The first fight was not fun. I had no idea what to expect, despite reading wiki. I died multiple times, but I was fortunate enough to be on at a time when no one was camping. I came back each time until I finished the fight. Pitiful as it may seem, this is only the second major NM that I have ever fought on my own; the first being Boompadu a while back.

I remember telling Dierdren when I won. My hands were shaking and I was so excited to realize that I could not only fight this, but I could beat it. Naturally, the first fight took a long time for me. Well over an hour. Chalk it up to being inexperienced and afraid to take risks. Not to mention the whole multiple death and homepoints. Near the end, I did have a bit of help from Jamarn so it wasn't a 100% solo effort. Still, I was more confident to fight this without help now that I had an understanding of what it would do. Along with this win came the first of the upgrades, which went to SMN. While I could've taken the BLM piece too, I wanted Jamarn to have something for coming out and helping.

This was to become the place where I spent most of my solo time online. If I wasn't trying to build time somewhere, I was searching for this NM. When I saw people online who I thought might be willing to help, I'd wait to see if I could get the claim and then ask them to come out. Sometimes they would be able to, but many of the fights were done without them. At times when I arrived and someone was fighting it, I noticed something very different between them and me: They weren't alone. No matter who I met in that area, no one was ever by themselves. If a single person was there and got the claim, it was only a few minutes until an entire party arrived to help them.

So then I started to wonder, why don't I have that? Where's my group? For all the friends I've got on my friend list, why can't I get that small band of people that does stuff like this? I didn't want to beg people to come help me, so I just stuck it out and asked the few people that I saw online.

I think the most disheartening news I received during this whole thing was when I encountered a Japanese THF at the camp one day. I was fighting the giant when I got caught without Stoneskin and died. While there, a WHM was watching. I asked if they wanted an item and was willing to give it to them if they needed it. They said "I'm sorry" and I continued on until I died. At that moment, another Summoner entered. Then more people came, including this THF. He was the reason they all showed up. Turns out he and I were both after the last and most important item from this NM, Taranis's Harness.

There wasn't any expressed hatred from either side. I lost the NM and they claimed it. Fair is fair, I suppose. Miliani did show up to help me, but I more or less figured they would kill it and I just wanted the ToD. Turns out that Ironclad was pretty pissed from all of us messing around with it and it dropped the other group too. We got it back and continued the fight. While it was technically "my" NM since I got it when it first spawned, I felt a little sympathetic towards the other party. So I made a proposal to team up. It took a little while through auto-translate, but he agreed and we made it a team effort. Stupid giant still didn't put out, but now I had a small team to do this faster. He was willing to camp Severer as long as it took, but I had to run for Dynamis before the next spawn. Naturally, I get a tell mid-run. "{Body} GET ! ! ! !" Goddamn Dynamis.

Anyway, when our run was over, I resume the camping. The THF would talk to me in /t, but he was nowhere to be found as far as camping was concerned. He then told me: "You {/no} {Element} WS = {/no} drop." Referring to triggering the weakness of Abyssea NMs, he more or less told me that I was shit out of luck on getting that harness as long I was fighting as a Summoner. There was simply no feasible method for me to trigger the weakness. A part of me hated him for saying that, but he seemed to be right so far. Breathem tried to help me a few times with weaknesses, but it just didn't happen. The thought of not having a group got to me more and more.

People say that it's so easy to get a group of friends and go do things whenever you want. I beg to differ. Then again, maybe it's just me.

Keeping up with the Joneses

There's always the pressure of wanting to stay current with things. Not just for the betterment of yourself, but because this game is fueled by elitists who are quick to point out how inferior you are when you don't perform to the perceived minimum standard.

You can usually tell them to go piss off and still manage to enjoy your time.

However, do you ever feel more pressured to keep up with your friends or associates? You know, the ones who generally accept you exactly as you are, regardless of your gear or skill. The ones who don't really care about all that, yet are somehow phenomenally much farther ahead or better geared than you.

Sure, you might wander about town and see someone with a Masamune and wish you had one, but it doesn't bother you. Hell, you might even see someone out there with the very gear you've been dying to have, but you aren't upset because you don't know them. Then you get a tell from one of your friends who tells you they were randomly invited to a group to kill an NM that you've personally been trying to get help with for ages, and you go into a silent rage. Does this ever happen to you?

Obviously, it happens to me or I wouldn't be talking about it. Truthfully, I feel bad for admitting this. Even worse for actually feeling that way. These are my friends, and I should be congratulating them. I do, but there's always that feeling of "wtf?!" in the back of my head. I should be happy that they went off and got the atma from Eccentric Eve and others with just a pickup group. Cheering them on because they got a random invite to a zone boss just for shits and giggles. I am supposed to be thrilled when they get an Abyssea party that lasts for 10 hours non-stop with drops galore and people leveling left and right. I should be super ecstatic when they send me a tell with nothing more than an item name of their latest drop, followed by a large smile.

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I were actually a part of that fun when my friends go out and do things. It would be nice to get included on things other than just events. Jealousy and envy are horrible things to have, especially towards the people who are your friends. Considering that though, it's quite possible that I really don't deserve to be included.

After all, a real friend wouldn't be envious, right?

It's not their fault.

I told you I wasn't happy today. No Abyssea, no stones, and not a hell of a lot that I was really motivated to do. That's how my online day was looking. With the exception of one thing later in the evening: Dynamis - Xarcabard.

That was the only thing I looked forward to the entire day. I did things around the house as I sat online, and headed to zone roughly an hour early. Of course, I took a nap when I got there but that really doesn't matter. So 6pm EST arrives. Time to get ready and kick some ass with the hopes of finding an Etoile Casaque for Dancer so I could be extra freaking sexy. So tired of wearing a damn Scorpion / Raparee Harness all the time. I was sitting across from the trail markings and waiting patiently. A few others were there and even more began to trickle in. Things are looking good.

Of course...something had to happen. It just can't ever be easy.

Another LS shows up. Vana'diel's Finest. An odd name considering their history, but we won't delve into that right now. There is one bit of history to take into consideration, yet it's not directly related to them. Remember that server merge from awhile back? Well, it's been the source of a considerable amount of drama between Cerberus and Hades. The lovely Dynamis Calendar. The subject is old and beaten, but never dead. Hades was very attached to that calendar for the most part, but Cerberus never bothered or seemed to care about it. Now that we have become a part of Cerberus, we're still used to the calendar and try to respect those who decide to follow it.

As I'm sure you can guess, VF is not one of those shells that chose to follow it. So let's jump back to the present. They show up, and we make note of it. Cerberus linkshells are notorious for "zone-jacking," as they call it. Doesn't matter if you see a shell gathering at the markings. If they aren't inside and you're ready to go, then they lose. Calendar reservations and polite requests be damned. You move it or lose it. I think that's a pretty shitty and disrespectful approach, but that is the reality the people here choose to abide by.

Naturally, we lost the zone. The single event that I was looking forward to was gone, and I was pissed. We didn't have everyone ready, and we knew what that shell was going to do. Now, what upset me more than anything wasn't the fact that we lost the zone. It's why we lost it. It wasn't VF's fault; it was ours. This wasn't an event borne out of a spontaneous decision. We knew about this since the beginning of the month. It's on our website. Yet when the time came, we weren't ready. It wasn't some bullshit zone like Dynamis - Bastok, it was Xarcabard. People want gear from that place. You can skip out on damn near every other zone, but Iceland gear is nothing to scoff at. Dynamis Lord is in Xarcabard, relic fragments are there, NMs that can drop crazy money are there, and some of the most desirable AF2 is there. Yeah, yeah, AF3 and all that. Whatever, AF3 is a goddamn nightmare right now.

So what can we do for next time? How can we prepare better? For starters, maybe log out near the markings? Save yourself some headache trying to rush out to the place so we can enter. Just take a few minutes before you leave the night before or whenever, and log out by the markings. Oh, but what about the job you'll use? What if they want you to come as something different? Again, think about it. Every one of us pretty much has one or two jobs that we go as during Dynamis events. So gear up as one, and have the other gearset handy if you have to change. If you get called upon to go switch, use the Field Manual by the markings, and swap your stuff out.

One of the problems we encountered was that we didn't have a particular job when it was time to enter. In all honesty, and this may not be the right thing to say, but that's just too bad. Adapt. Maybe I'm making this all too simple in my head, but just because we're missing a job at that exact moment doesn't mean that we should screw ourselves out of a 4 hour event. We've got to be able to adapt to whatever circumstances we're faced with. We are just shit out of luck otherwise.

These other people will not wait for us to put our pants on and get all dolled up for entry. They don't give a damn if they see us standing right on top of the trail markings. Was their entire LS standing there when they went in? It didn't look like it, but they went with what they had. That's what we've got to do. Jump in and get shit done. The rest of our group will catch up. If they don't catch up, then that's unfortunate for them (myself included).

Now it sounds like I'm blaming my LS for what happened. It was our fault for what happened, so in a sense, that's true. Though I do not fault any single individual. Sure, VF pulled a shitty move, but that shouldn't come as a surprise considering where we are now. They've done it to us multiple times, and they'll keep doing it. Still, my point in all of this is that I think we need a reality check. As of this moment, our only safeguard or method of preparation is basically hoping that another group can't get their shit together before we do. If that's the case, then we might as well fill our schedule with Dynamis - San D'Oria runs, because we will lose the other zones...every. single. time.

Why Not?

I'm not happy today. At least not right now.

I'm unhappy because I want to party and level Paladin. I'd like to finish Bard as well, then move on to Summoner. However, I can't do that right now. I don't have enough time, and it's no one's fault but my own.

I haven't spent a lot of time doing seal quests and things like of that nature, so those aren't why I'm out of time. It's not due to the two times I spent fighting NMs with my small group of friends either. So how the hell is it that I now have to sit in my Mog House while I wait on stones to recharge?

Partying. The very thing I want to do is the reason why I don't have enough stones to do what I want to do. Conflicting, no? You see, it's not just parties though. There are instances where some people have partied using the same 3 stones since Abyssea came out and they have over 100 stones just sitting in a vault somewhere. So why am I different? Well, it's because I join bullshit parties that have been killing my time.

I'm a nice person, and that's my problem. I'm considerate and always want to give people a chance, even when I know better. I don't want to be "that person" who sees a party that isn't ideally perfect and jumps ship to find something else. You know, the person who says they have to go when someone else leaves and then say they couldn't find a rep. Of course, you do a quick search and find 20 people that could've filled their spot. If I lead a party, I don't want to be that bitchy person who's shouting and yelling while calling people morons because they are doing obviously stupid shit. Such as fighting Murexs who almost always open with a powerful spell and watching our RDM do nothing to silence them as the entire alliance gets struck with Thundaga III on Lightningsday.

So, because I'm so nice and passive...I end up staying with parties that aren't the greatest and watch as my time slowly dwindles down to nothing and then get upset afterwards. I probably wouldn't be able to bitch about half as much as I do now if I honestly just got up and left when I had a bad feeling about an event or party I was in. Quite possible that I wouldn't be as stressed either. Other people do it all the time; why not me too?

Why not just sign off when I'm bored during an event or don't feel like going to a particular zone for whatever reason? Take a hit on attendance and lose a point or two. No big deal really; random drops are random, and I don't have nearly enough points to outbid anyone on the things I actually want anyway. So I'm last to get it no matter how I look at it.

Why not just bail on parties I get invited to when they aren't the best they can be? There's no rule of loyalty to the person who invites you, so why should I have to stay when people don't get their shit together and the group starts to fall apart? Why should I bother explaining my reason for going or waste my time trying to find a replacement when I can see the party is going downhill? Are they going to stand by me if I made a party and things weren't that great? Would they stick around to help improve it? Of course they won't.

So why do I bother? I believe in giving an honest effort, all the way to the end (or as close as I can comfortably get). I go to zones or events that I don't want to do because it can't always be about me. I try to stand by party leaders in Abyssea because it would be absolutely horrible if everyone did nothing but look out for #1 instead of the person next to them.

I do most of what I do because I like to think that I'm doing the right thing. Even if the end result is me sitting in my Mog House, waiting on a damn stone to recharge.

Ignorance and Curiosity

Humans are naturally ignorant. It's just a fact of life that we really don't know much. The things we believe we know today will change in time and we'll be thrown on our heads as we struggle to cope with the new reality presented to us. Due to that ignorance, we're also very curious. We experiment and test new ideas at almost every available opportunity as we attempt to move from ignorance to enlightenment. This can be a very dangerous thing. As the saying goes, "Curiosity killed the cat."

Or in this case, curiosity killed the alliance.

---

There I was, remembering how to be a Paladin in Abyssea - Misareaux Coast. As much as I've been putting it off, I figured it's high time to get this class caught up with everything else. I'm not so sure this whole "main assist" thing is for me though. As soon as I target an enemy and get ready to do something, it's dead and I sometimes find myself struggling to target the next enemy amidst a crowd of bloodthirsty adventurers so they can smash it. I'm sure there's probably a macro for selecting the nearest enemy, but I've yet to figure that one out. See, there's some ignorance on display. Now to use my curiosity to find the answer...later.

The target for the day was none other than those damn birds, so I got to kiss my food goodbye and say hello to some facial beaking. It took me a minute to get my groove, but I think I did fairly well for the time we were there. I almost got a level and recapped my time, which is a great thing because I'm insanely low on stones. I really should get my fame up and do that damn abyssite quest. As we were fighting along, dropping bird after bird, I noticed something in the distance. Someone had died, but not by one of the birds we had pulled to camp. No, no...this was different. There was an NM in our midst, and I had no idea how it got there.

At first, I thought it was just going to deaggro and go about its way. Yes, that was a stupid thought. I wasn't certain what we were supposed to do. Then I saw it kill another person and I realized it was just going to wander around and peck the alliance to death. So, I did what any other sacrificial idiot would do: I provoked it.

Now the alliance had no choice but to fight. Someone did the call for help so we wouldn't lose the exp chain, so there goes the chance of any groovy rewards from it. What I didn't realize about this NM was that it copies the buffs of whoever it uses a certain TP move, and that other colibri link with this one as well. This should not have been a problem, but no one was sleeping the links and we ended up having a very bad time with this thing.

Needless to say, people were pissed. How the hell did this thing show up and cause a wipe. I figured it was a timed spawn and we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone else knew the truth, and that's why he was pissed. Avalerion isn't a timed spawn, it's a pop NM. No one else but people from our alliance were there, but everyone was silent when asked about what happened. Then it happened...

"Oh that's what it was? Lol, I traded the item but didn't think anything was going to happen."

Ignorance and curiosity are a very deadly combination indeed. Our scholar happened to receive the spawn item and just blindly traded it to the nearest ??? he saw because he was curious. Some people said to just get over it and continue, but other people didn't have such a kind reaction to his seemingly innocent action. He tried to say that he's only played for two years and has been to Abyssea a total of four times, with this being his first visit to Misareaux. I want to say something to defend him, but I honestly can't come up with anything. When you are new to an area and by yourself, then feel free to explore and sate your curiosity as much as you like. When you are new and with an entire alliance, well...save the curiosity for later.

An entire alliance, wiped because someone thought it would be funny to randomly trade an NM spawn item in the middle of an exp party without knowing the consequences. Isn't curiosity great?

Maybe I was wrong

In a recent post, I talked about some of the changes brought about by level sync / Abyssea and the mass shift of opinion from what was then considered "wrong" to now being generally acceptable.

I also said that I don't think they are what is destroying this game. Maybe that's not quite so accurate. Eldephia mentioned earlier that maybe this is Vana'diel's last hurrah (in one of my comments). If so, then it's very possible that Abyssea really is destroying this game. Not to use destroy in the sense of tearing it apart and completely ruining FFXI, but to say that after Abyssea, there won't be anything left that has meaning.

If you think about it, that's exactly what's happening. With most of the prior content, the one thing that kept it from being completely outdated was that even if you got things from the latest expansion, you could still go back to the former content and get something worthwhile. That's not the case now.

Nothing tops the best Abyssean gear. Absolutely nothing. There are forums overflowing with math equations showing how Abyssean items trump everything else out there. If they don't completely make something worthless now, December is right around the corner. Unless SE breathes new life into the items that existed pre-Abyssea, then there is no point at all in that content. The old stuff is still sitting at level 75 and, in just 10 levels, most everything has been deemed worthless or just idle gear now. Because of this, what reason do people have for doing anything other than Abyssea?

Not much from what I can see. The old events are fading out, and that's causing a lot of frustration for people. Some people's whole reason for being was to enjoy these events with other people. As I read the blogs of others, I can see that they are starting to wonder "what's the point" as well. Some people argue that Abyssea can be fun. It can be until you actually want something out of there. Odd as that sounds, I see it more and more. As you want to get things from the zone, the less enjoyment you have while trying to acquire it. You all know how it works; you're against the clock constantly. Sure, you can explore and go have fun if you want to waste your stones, but who really wants to do that?

It just seems that as more time goes on, maybe Abyssea won't be the event that delivers FFXI into a bright new future, but more the event that finally lays Vana'diel to rest. I guess we'll all find out soon enough.

Killing me softly

Apparently, being offline for a week and not blogging for twice that time means I have the urge to blog like there's no tomorrow. I'd apologize, but if you haven't figured out that I talk a lot by now, then shame on you.

I'm sure you're familiar with the expression, "Kill them with kindness." Well, I just happened to get shot with a bullet of kindness a moment ago and felt like sharing the experience. The funny part is, I don't think the guy even realized he did it.

Last night, we did our first event in the Walk of Echoes. I had been there once before, but I was dead roughly 10 seconds after it started and that sums up the experience. Anyway, our run is moving along nicely when we notice someone outside of our LS shows up. A DNC who probably saw us in the zone and decided to tag along. When he came in, he put up his flag. Chatter from all ends were sudden buzzing with "Who is this guy?", "Anyone know him?", "What does he want?", etc. None of us had a clue. So we instantly deemed him a leech. I don't know if anything was said to him or not, but I suddenly heard a lot of laughter in the vent channel. Apparently he was invited to a party, and then given an unexpected Warp II out of the zone.

Given the following reactions, it seemed like a majority of people approved of what just happened. I don't personally think it was necessary, but my opinion is my own. I mean, that's the mechanics of the battlefield, right? Anyone has the right to be there as long as the participant limit allows it. No group can lay claim to the entire zone if there are still slots open. Granted, it might suck because it's not "LS only", but if people come in and put forth the effort to make a successful run, then so be it. If they come in and act like morons and do shit to screw you up, then kick 'em if you can or deal with it the best way possible. Regardless, it happened and that was that.

Now we move forward to this morning. An hour ago, roughly. I was looking for something to do when I saw a shout for a WotG mission I had already done. I was intending to start on Synergy, but WotG is always more exciting for me. So I send a tell and get accepted their party. It was a Taru WHM who needed the help, but I didn't realize that until I already came to the zone as an RDM. However; something caught my eye as I glanced at the party list. That same dancer from last night was here. I highly doubt he recognized me because I didn't interact with him earlier. I just remembered his name and job.

We get on with the mission and I'm watching his actions while things are underway. Being a dancer myself, I was curious to see how he performed. He was a competent guy, and was very helpful to getting the mission done. When it was all over, I realized he and I were the only ones who had done this before and the others were the ones that needed help. The WHM then traded me some gil as thanks for helping. As much as I appreciate it, the gil wasn't necessary. Granted, I could always use it, but I was there more for the sake of being helpful than anything else. Then she traded him. Without saying a word, he simply shook his head. "Keep your money," he said. I already felt bad over what happened last night, but now I felt worse. Great, he's a genuine good guy. The one who comes to help people just because he can. The WHM insisted that he take the gil, so eventually he did.

Is that why he came in the zone while we were there? Was he there to honestly just help us out? Or maybe he wanted the experience points. It's not like he could lay claim to anything he wanted or outperform an entire alliance on his own. We don't know, and we never will because we didn't give him a chance. Yet, we let two others in on the run because they offered to buy items from us. Interestingly enough, one of them was fighting enemies in areas we asked not to, or he'd attempt to solo. At the end of the run, he didn't even have to pay for what he got because he was deemed a "good guy" and only got one coin.

Of course, I didn't personally do anything to this guy. I really don't have to feel bad but, since it was my group who kicked and him laughed, I am just as responsible as anyone else.

You almost did it.

Oh Square-Enix, why must you do this?

You were so close. Ohhhh, you were so close.

When you first introduced Abyssea, there was much joy to be had by all. Granted, there was equally enough to bitch about as there was to celebrate, but that wasn't entirely on your head. With that update, you had broken a curse that took hold of Vana'diel for a long time. Even longer than I had existed in this world.

Mages were welcome and actually sought out in parties...constantly. Alliances of all types were more than willing to bring anyone and everyone along to level and hopefully enjoy the spoils when all was said and done. You introduced the beginnings of what could be the next epic storyline, just as Wings of the Goddess has done.

Now, this next update bring about even more changes. Newly designed armor that actually makes sense for the most part. (Except Puppetmaster...what the fuck were you on? The only one to sport a jester hat and look cool is Harle, and PUP is nowhere near as cool as she was.) We have three more redesigned zones, more weapons, and so much more potential.

Potential which went right out the goddamned window.

Where's the story with Abyssea? What the hell is going on with these alternate dimensions and cavernous maws popping up all over the place? Are WotG and Abyssea intertwined now? I'm guessing so because, for some reason or another, there's a damn Veridical Conflux involved in one of the WotG quests. How the hell did you guys justify that move? Did Atomos swallow Lilisette and spit her ass out in Abyssea-Vunkerl, forcing her to exp and gain enough cruor to activate a conlfux and warp out?

You make these new zones and dangle the AF3 in our face, but naturally you do so with a catch. You couldn't just make shit simple like you did with the Perle, Teal, or Aurore sets, could you? No, we can't just earn all the cruor we need and buy all the base pieces. Of course not. You had to make it so we can buy some pieces, but the rest comes out of golden chests. Can you people please be consistent? Is it really that damn difficult for you?

Let's talk weapons. For years, you gave these relic holders a feeling of accomplishment once they completed their upgrade line. Not only did they have an awesome weapon, but they had a weaponskill that was completely their own. No one else but a relic wielder could use it. That was the whole point of the journey for those people. Not anymore. Congratulations to everyone, now anybody can use the relic weaponskills, provided you meet the latent requirements. While the latent might be ridiculously narrow and situational, I'm willing to bet that they won't be nearly as difficult to fulfill as the previous relic upgrade quest was. Thanks for tossing a big middle finger to everyone who went through that process.

My favorite of all is design. I'm sure I've already bitched about the whole recycling of zones and whatnot, but that's not my issue this time. I'd say it's fairly obvious that it takes a lot longer to create an entire zone than it does to create a new enemy. With that being said, how about something new now? This is supposed to be the second coming of FFXI, right? So why are you still using old ass character models? You've come up with a few new designs, and that's awesome. You know the sad part about it though? No one bothers with them. When's the last time anyone did a Limule or Clionid party? Other than the first time anyone entered the zone, I'm willing to say that answer is never. Know why? Cause you populated the zone with old shit that everyone already knew how to fight.

You took the challenge away before anyone even realized a challenge was there. Why go fight these new, harder enemies when we've got some beefed up lizards a short distance away? Screw Limules and Weepers, we've got Mandies. Why bother with Wyrms when there are bats? It's no wonder that everyone breezed through the first of these expansions. You gave people the easy way, and naturally they took it. Oh but now, my dear friend, you just opened the Pandora's Box of Easy Street.

Abyssea - Miseraux Coast. EP just told me what he saw and I died inside. Literally, I'm dead. This is just my soul manifesting rage through my computer right now. Of all the enemies that exist in Vana'diel, you just had to do it. I am so angry right now I'm depressed.

Coastal....Colibri.

Why not just hand people levels with the update? Everyone who buys the latest expansion gets an automatic five levels with the download. Could you make this shit any easier? Whoever thought this was a good idea was downright fucking stupid. Ever since the introduction of Colibri, the entire leveling scene has been custom tailored to decimating these birds. Every other camp and enemy type in the world of Vana'diel became completely void as long as there were some Colibri to kill. I don't care how awesome the other enemies were or how pretty a new zone was designed; if Colibri weren't there, then it wasn't worth going to.

For awhile, that mentality was put away. Of course, you just had to go backwards and put these silly ass birds back on the map. I don't know if they cast magic back at you, but it's been confirmed that they're back to eating your food.

Christ, SE...is it always one step forward and seven miles back with you guys?

EDIT: Of course, many people don't care about any of this sort of thing. They just see new shiny shit and are more than happy to chase after it while foaming at the mouths. It's no wonder these free online MMOs do so well. Toss out some new shit every now and then and people never stop playing, no matter how stupid the game might be.

You little bitch...

Tonight was a night where shit was just bound to go wrong. I got lost in sky and, being the only healer, my LS wiped to Mother Globe. They ended up leading me to the pile of bodies and we got things together. Sky finished on a good note by the time everything was said and done though.

So now I'm hanging out in Port Jeuno, when I get a tell from Tidis about "turtle time." I'm always up for some turtle action, so we set out to try our luck. The last few times we did it, we had help. This time, it was just us as the damage dealers, and Caldar came to lend us the power of his treasure hunter.

Naturally, Chukwa's not up when we get there. 20 minutes of running around and still nothing. Eventually, it spawns and we get the claim. Of course we would; no one else was there. Shortly into the fight, we get a visitor. An Elvaan BLM named Skimpy. I'm off in the distance, so I can't see what's going on. Not to mention, I'm focused on trying to kill this damn turtle.

I end up getting closer for some casts, and I catch a bit of the conversation he's having with Tidis. Basically trying to find out what items we're after. Since I already had the bow, the collar was the only item we wanted. Well, Tidis wanted it, and that's why we were there. So when Skimpy finds out about it, he says "bah" and goes on his way. Although, he doesn't leave. Instead, he follows us around.

So it begins. He was waiting for us to mess up so he could get a chance. I'm a carebear, and I realize this. If I saw someone fighting an NM, I'd stick around for a ToD, and if they die I'd raise them if I could and either help them out, or ask if they mind me trying. Yes, I'd really do that. I don't expect anyone else to be like that. What I do expect is that people have the damn decency to wait until we've wiped before attempting to claim an NM that you clearly see us fighting.

Oh no, not this guy. We get this turtle down to 40%, and I run out of MP. I tell Tidis that I'm resting, and for them to maintain hate. Chukwa goes yellow for just a moment, and Skimpy hits it with Sleep II. Now as I understood it, you have to be high enough on the monster's hate list in order to to claim it from someone else. That's how it is in Terrigan or any other place I've seen. If something aggros you and another person tries to hit it, the monster still chases the initial target until the other person does another action to move them higher on the hate list. How the hell Skimpy got it with a Sleep II just boggles my mind.

Regardless of the mechanics, the little fucker took the NM. Go ahead and say the famous "yellow is fair game" bullshit line that so many people like to spout. Yes, yellow is fair game when no one is bothering it. When said enemy goes unclaimed because you're out of range for half a second, then that's not fair game. You know you're trying to steal it; stop hiding behind bullshit technicalities.

You might say that I'm "butthurt" or whatever the hell people say now, but I'm just flat-out pissed. I don't care what kind of "game mechanics" you try to say in order to defend yourselves. What was done was wrong and pretty childish. Skimpy's from Armada, an HNM shell here, if I'm not mistaken. Guess what? Chukwa's not an HNM. It's an NM on a 30 minute timer. Are you really so desperate that you can't wait for 30 minutes while we kill this thing and go about our way? Do you honestly have to lurk around the corner and try to take whatever opportunity you can to take an enemy that you clearly see someone else fighting...and actually winning?

Those are redundant questions, because his actions clearly shout "YES" to every one of them. Luckily for us Skimpy is about as smart as his name implies. He wasn't actually damaging Chukwa. I almost want to say he was attempting to just hold it, because spamming Bio II would never kill it. It wasn't long before he made a mistake and got killed. So we took it right back.

I'm normally a passive person, and I don't like confrontation or the "eye-for-an-eye" way of thinking. However, this wasn't done to just me. If I were there by myself and this shit was pulled, yeah I'd be just as pissed, but I'd just say hell with it and come back later. That wasn't the case. This was done to my friends, and that made this very personal.

Now we're back in the game. Skimp gets up, and now has friends. Tidis takes a look and finds that they are also with Armada. These two were a bit more aggressive with their "bitch tactics" that Skimpy was. Staying right behind Tidis, blocking his path, and just being a general annoyance.

Dizzmal comes out to help, along with Caliburn. Neo and Shaan are heading towards us to give a hand too. I made some mistakes and got myself killed, which caused a domino effect and Chukwa goes unclaimed again. As expected, they took it. On that claim, I was pissed, but not as much as before. We screwed up and they took advantage. Lo and behold, they died again and we took it right back.

Shortly thereafter, I just said fuck it and started casting whatever. Of course I died again, but I wanted to make damn certain that I hit it hard enough that it wouldn't go unclaimed. The rest of the guys took it down and we got another bow.

Perhaps judging an entire linkshell based on the actions of 3 people is harsh, but I'm a believer of guilt by association, or in this case, bitch by association. So to the Armada linkshell (and especially Skimpy), if this is the kind of player behavior that you condone and practice, all I have to say is fuck off, and fuck you.

Childish Antics

I like having fun. I enjoy being silly and doing stupid things while I'm online. It breaks up the monotony and helps keep people's spirits up. There's usually always a time to have some fun being a harmless delinquent.

Until you get people killed. Then it's not quite as funny.

Now some people don't mind this sort of thing and laugh it off. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people. I get pissy when I die. Always have and always will. If I fall due to my own stupidity, well I just suck it up and deal with it. When it's because someone decides to try being funny and mpks people, then I have a problem with it. Especially when it happens during events. Obviously, some details are needed. Story time!

Last night was Dynamis-Bastok. Oh how I love the dreary environment of that place. (Extreme sarcasm for those of you that might be new to this blog.) The night wasn't starting off on a great note. I wasn't in the greatest of moods so I got to the zone and sat down. (August 10th is a sensitive day for me; long story). I was all dressed up in my pretty gown, ready to attract the wrath of the necro-pedos that might be lurking around the corner. We had a long wait ahead because I had forgotten that we entered an hour late Saturday. Just before entering, I was asked to change to WHM. Honestly, I don't understand why I'm so against this job class now. Granted, I'm not big on main healing, but I don't have a problem with it as an RDM or even SCH. Just something about doing it as a WHM that makes me cringe. I'm guessing it's because Sumarok's gone and being a WHM has lost its meaning to me.

Anyway, I was given the ok to stay as SCH and just focus on healing the party. No biggie, I've done it many times before. We go in and the run is going well. We got all of the time extensions, killed the mega boss, and were basically doing just great. Very few deaths in the entire alliance. This is how I like Dynamis to be. It's boring as all hell and the last thing you want is to be both bored and frustrated during an event.

So naturally, something had to frustrate me.

Around the 20-25 minutes remaining mark, we started getting really large pulls. I mean really large. Now these things happen, and sometimes it's either accidental or can't be helped. However, when you're doing this shit because you think it's funny and trying to kill us, allow me to be the first to say that I am not amused in the slightest.

Yes, this is me whining and bitching. If you didn't know that I was bitchy before, allow me to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Jacinda. I'm bitchy. Moving on...

This type of stuff is just frustrating as hell to me. First off, you're making my job as a healer / support job more difficult than it should be because now I'm spamming heals all over the goddamn place and taking hate instead of the damage dealers. It throws everything into chaos and makes things generally unpleasant.

To make matters worse, you lose exp in Dynamis. I don't like that. Yeah, it's just exp, but it's MY exp. Until you become the person responsible for recapping my jobs when I die, don't screw around with my exp. I don't care if I get raise 3 or not. Each time I die, that's less time I spend on meriting and more time recapping my buffer.

Finally, Dynamis is about 2 things: gear and coins. Both of these things are completely random, and you never know what you'll get from an enemy. As such, it's important to maximize your time by killing as much as possible, and quickly. Dying gets in the way of that. Dynamis gear helps you improve yourself and coins are either for relic upgrades or for shell payouts. In my case, it's the latter. So it's pretty damn important to get as many coins as possible. Get us killed, and we can't get coins. Less coins = smaller payout. Don't mess with my exp, time, and definitely don't fuck with my monies. Who you are and your standing doesn't matter to me. It's bad etiquette. Go do dumb shit when you're with your buddies and just playing around. Don't pull that when you're doing events.

It's never a wise move to piss off your healers. Some would do well to keep that in mind.

Not a happy healer...

Children, children...

I don't know why, but I picked up another magian weapon today. Some days, I don't even bother trying to figure myself out.

Anyway, the trials are fairly simple for this one. Thinking this would be a relaxing way to start my weekend, I got a few kabobs and was on my way to the sandbox. While there, something dawned on me.

People are jackasses.

I've seen some shady behavior there and all around but the jackass gene was in full force today. I was on the receiving end of some of it, but I also just watched others for a bit too. People provoking enemies right as someone else gets to it with their weapon drawn. Casting Dia on enemies that someone has slept. Black mages running around sleeping 4 or 5 enemies just to keep them to themselves. RDMs running past dead people just so they can get claim on lizards, and all sorts of other nonsense. I even saw some MPK action with Killer Johnny.

Then I went to Whitegate. Of cousre, it's relatively quiet there now, but only because people are in Abyssea. Once that dies down a bit, Whitegate will become the same drama-arena it's always been.

Of course, this got me thinking. It's pretty common when someone bitches about FFXI to hear "go back to WoW with all the other kids" or things of that nature. It's been said that the FFXI crowd has a more mature audience overall. If there was a survey done in the past which brought about such a perception, then I'd like to see another one done in present time and check the results.

Based on my overall experiences here, I really don't see the general crowd of Vana'diel as the epitome of maturity. In fact, I see the opposite. Perhaps I started out on the wrong sever, or happened to be unlucky enough to be part of presumably the worst server merge. I am at the point where I would not recommend visiting Vana'diel to anyone who has not already been here. Not because this is a bad place, mind you, but because of the overall attitude / behavior of the population.

Personally, I love Vana'diel. It's beautiful, expansive, and has endless hours of activity. I am both frustrated and enamored with this world. However, I think that my stay is mainly because I was lucky. I ran into a group of wonderful people early on and that helped to solidify my place here, even during my darker periods.

Yet, I'm hesitant to bring in any friends from the outside. I know I personally would not be able to be with them 100%, and would leave them to their own devices from time to time. Sadly, that thought bothers me. I've said it before, but FFXI is not a new-person friendly place.

From the way I hear it, WoW is full of young adults and teens who run rampant through the game and have a very immature disposition. I doubt this is 100% accurate, but it seems to be the general consensus. However, that raises a question. If WoW is the immature gamer's paradise, and FFXI is supposed to be for mature people, then why the hell does such a vast majority of FFXI players seem so childish?

You would expect such behavior in a playpen of toddlers who don't know any better. Has Vana'diel become that playpen? Of course, there are many people who don't fit in the group. I happen to be friends with a lot of them. Still, they are in the very small minority.