On Task (kind of)

We all know I need a plan so I don't stress the hell out while playing this.  The next step is actually making one.  This is where it gets messy, because every class has so many things to do for it.  Simply saying that you're going to "gear up" whichever job is far too vague and could also take months to do.

Naturally, that's exactly what I'm doing because I'm an idiot.

Sometimes, you just have to accept your flaws and keep it moving.  So let's discuss what I'm doing and check my progress.  I figure by telling all three of you that are reading this about what's going on, it will help to keep me focused and maybe even prevent me from losing my mind.  Maybe.

It doesn't exist...

Ah, good old Voidwatch.  Lately, I've been spam-joining groups that I find for Ig-Alima.  Yes, I'm still searching for the ever-elusive Borealis great sword.  The Hoarfrost Blade gets the job done, but I want my shiny death blade.  I've been in the group with Ephexis most of the time, and he always makes an interesting alliance.  Aside from that, the drop rate on this is beyond horrible.  I have seen more Wroth Scythes in this run than all other weapons combined.  Stupid scythe.

Playing with Wyrms

I can only imagine how many lude comments will be made from the above title, but I'll leave that your imagination.  I think I am part of a hopefully dying breed of damage dealers who still don't have the E. Body armor.  Unfortunately, Nidhogg hasn't been to helpful in getting me out of that group.  Instead, he lovingly hands over some scales and other useless nonsense.  Not even a Ridill.  The good news is that once I have it, I can stress myself out over getting the actual cursed armor.  It's good to know what your future holds.  Although it hasn't dropped a damn thing except a load of disappoint for me, Bey was lucky enough to get her first piece of "king's gear," the Dalmatica!

Even though it's old...

With me and my awesome self-esteem issues, I was somewhat thankful when the Empyrean armor came out.  My reasoning?  I never got anything completed in Salvage.  While it sounds like a poor excuse, which it is, it was good to know there was an armor option out there that I finally had access to.  No longer did you have to wear Ares if you wanted to be a damage dealer, or Skadi if you were a thief.  Mages weren't confined to the stigma of being considered pitiful without a Morrigan's Robe.  In a way, it's comforting that some of the "casuals" could finally take part in end game.  Of course, now there are too many casuals who have no clue what the hell they're doing in these types of events, making things harder for many.  I suppose there really isn't a happy medium for this sort of thing.

Anyway, now there is the Level 99 Salvage, commonly referred to as "Neo Salvage."  Adding "Neo" to the name apparently makes it more epic sounding than "Level 99."  As I'm sure you already know, now the original Salvage armor can be augmented to be even more awesome than it was before.  So you know what that means...everyone and thier mother is rushing to get through the original tier.  This also means that I once again have felt the pressure to get this gear.  Well, I don't have a group for it, and since my gear was never really all that awesome originally, it's difficult to convince people to let me in now.  However, Lisamarie and Milhouse have been supportive enough to invite me when they have go in.  It's been an interesting experience, to say the least.  I do want to get better so I don't feel like such a third wheel, but I know that will come in time.

Rush to 100!

Speaking of Neo and remakes, there is also the new Nyzul Isle Uncharted Survey.  Granted, while neither Neo-Salvage or "Neo Nyzul Isle" are actually brand new, they are new as far as I'm concerned.  The Askar, Denali, and Goliard sets have made a triumphant comeback and you can once again see people standing in Port Jeuno with this very pretty armor.  Well, except Goliard.  That was never pretty.  The armor has new names (Phorcys, Thaumus, Nares) and very awesome stats to go with them.  The new Salvage armor can beat out this new gear, but no one is going to look at you in a negative light for showing up with NNI armor.

While the new Salvage is considerably easier than before, that's not the case with NNI.  Square-Enix decided to make this event particularly difficult for the players.  The worst part about NNI is the fact that there are no save points like before.  Now, you have to make it from 1-100 in 30 minutes.  Even with the floor jumps, you are heavily dependent on luck to get you through.  Because of this, players have to bring their A-game every single time.  There truly is no room for screw ups.  Finishing with only seconds to go is far from uncommon.  I've joined a couple of shout groups that went horribly wrong, but luckily Rocko recently invited me to his group and I've been having a lot of fun there.  Hopefully, I can make that a common thing and stick with them.  I'm more or less a standy person at the moment, but it's better than nothing.

Trials, trials, trials

Yeah.  I set myself up for all types of issues with this.  Why I have so many Empyrean trials active is beyond my understanding, but it's what I've done.  So, I'm slowly trying to get through whatever I can when I find the opportunity (and people) to do so.  Bey and Frice have been extremely helpful, and Misiisii / Dierdren have helped out whenever possible as well.  The flavor of the month for now is this Twashtar, since it was the very first Empyrean I ever attempted to complete.  With luck, I'll have my popsicle knife soon.  That would be kind of nifty.

Well, there's more for me to blog about and I have a few more pictures to add, but Swk's on me about going to finish these iron plates. Yes, I'm working on that too. I know....I know.

Plans

As anyone who has read more than two blogs here can tell, I get stressed easily by this game.  Which is funny when you consider my line of work requires me to have a calm disposition and analyze / solve problems.  Great at my job, horrible at this game.  Well, whatever.

A conversation a few days ago put me on this huge thinking path.  I was just bitching (well, whining) to one of my friends about things here, and he asked me a very simple question that I couldn't directly answer.

"What's your goal?"

Damn you, Swk.  Making me think so much.  Honestly, I couldn't tell him.  You know how you have people that are experts in certain aspects?  They can work magic in any one thing, which makes them seem like they can do anything.  That's not me.  I'm no expert in anything, but I can do some of everything.  I realize I'm that way in life as well as this game.  However, that doesn't work so well for FFXI as it does in reality. 

He asked me what I was working on, and I started listing several things.  I have partial currency for a relic, items for 5 Empyrean weapons, a plethora of +2 items, all sorts of abjurations, and various sorts of other things that aren't done.  The first thing he told me, after saying "wow", was "focus".  That has always been my issue, and I believe it could also be the source of my stress.

I'm too scattered.  My fear of being inadequate for linkshells and groups has put me on this path to improve without focusing on what I want to improve on.  When it comes down to it, you can spend your entire time in FFXI working on one single class.  Me?  I'm working on everything that a person could ask me to change to.  Stressing out over getting a Tessera Saio, or my Enhancing magic capped, or pissy because I haven't got an Armada Hauberk yet.  Upset over my perceived lack of usefulness due to not having level 99 weapons.  All this stuff can make you crazy.

So now, I realize what I need is a plan.  This is harder than it sounds, because planning means I have to do something I am definitely not comfortable with: asking for help.  Most of what I do is by myself, which is also what leads to me being so scattered.  I do what I can by myself, and then switch to something else until someone happens to be available to help me with what I was doing before.  Of course, since I won't ask for help, I end up moving on to several projects by the time someone is available.  Then I stress out because I don't have inventory space and all these unfinished projects that I've obligated myself to do.  It's a vicious circle, and I understand that it's my doing.

The next question is, "What do I do to fix it?"  Well, I'm not going to just trash everything that I've done and promise to do things one at a time because that would be stupid.  I'm going to need some help, both with getting projects done and also keeping myself from getting into this position in the first place.  Easier said than done for me, but it has to be done.  I know I'm not going to stick to a single project because I'll get bored if I can't work on it constantly. So I'll do a few things and leave it at that.  Truly, just a few things.

One other thing that I've been having difficulty with is money.  Not only in making it, but spending it.  Granted, I don't have the umpteen bazillion gil that I see many of these others with, but I can afford to spend some money on a few upgrades.  Which is exactly what I started doing.  Part of improving requires some purchases.  Sure, there are better options out there which are r/ex, but until I can get that, I have to get at least something.  Small upgrades here and there, but they will all help out in the long run.  Not to mention, it's hard to be taken seriously if you're too afraid to put in effort or risk being broke just so you can make yourself better.

Speaking of scattered, I'm trying to write this blog while doing Voidwatch.  I really need to stop multi-tasking so much.

Changing Perceptions

Another day of not being able to go to work.  This is getting frustrating.

Since I've nothing else going on besides taking medication and paying bills while eating my soup, it's time for more FFXI.  Early morning gaming is always a challenge because most of my friends aren't here and the people who are around are Japanese.  This is why I should really use my Rosetta Stone more often.

I hopped on a Jeuno III Voidwatch clear just for giggles.  Not as if I actually need the clears, but that Phasmida Belt from Kaggen eludes me to this day.  So what the hell.  I figured this would beat standing around while Vipooo (however many o's his name has now) shouts for yet another leech party in [A]-Altepa.  Naturally, Kaggen didn't give up the goods.  I did get several metal plates, so that was nice.  Poor as I am, I could use the gil.  Of course, I could also save the plates and one day upgrade a weapon to 95.  I'll more than likely sell it, because I like having monies.

Just as my run was nearing its end, I caught sight of a shout for Odin v2.  I was definitely curious and was thinking of trying it out.  Then I saw a comment in the LS chatter: "that shout is going to be a disaster."  There was no following conversation about how the person shouting was a horrible newbie or awful player.  Just a standard assumption that they would fail because it's a pickup group.  I have to wonder, with so many people walking around with level 99 Relics and Empyreans, how is it that pickup groups with these same people are immediately dismissed as failures?

I somewhat understand the stigma they carried in past years.  People didn't have all the stuff they have now, and most who did the shouting were unable to get into linkshells who had the skill / strength needed to achieve victory.  But now?  I was amazed the first time I saw someone with a level 99 Empyrean, and now they're more or less commonplace.  99 Twashtars, Mandaus, Ragnaroks, Apocalypse, and everything under the sun.  They're everywhere.  The amount of gil people have nowadays is staggering.  I see Salvage, Nyzul, augmented Dynamis gear, and Voidwatch armor all over the place.  Sure, I still see some Perle and the occasional person wearing a Scorpion Harness, but they are few and far between compared to years ago.

So, if practically the entire server is geared to the teeth, how is it that a pickup group of random people with superior gear still destined to fail?  Now my next statement is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but truly...remember when people on the forums would say that gear isn't everything and they were immediately razed by the high-end players about gear making the player, and the "skill > gear" argument was only made by those incapable of getting good equipment?

If so many have finally increased their gear, but the stigma of pickup groups with these well-equipped players still remains, could it be that the "skill > gear" argument was actually valid?  Could those people have been right all along?

Things that make you go..."lol".

Oh!  I took a screenshot.  Shut up about my gear.  I'm working on it. >.>

I'm cute; I know this. 

 

 

Also, make comments, damn it!  I can tell that I'm not the only one reading my blogs, so say something!

Swinging

Back into things.  Get your minds out of the gutter.

So I was sent home again today.  I'm fine as long as I don't try talking too much or exerting myself with actions such as walking up / down stairs.  I tell you, being sick is not fun in the slightest.  So, after coming home, taking medicine, and making myself go to sleep for awhile...I signed on.  Not surprising, eh?

Anyway, things started off pretty slowly as I stood around Port Jeuno.  I searched through my inventory and found some +2 items that I could turn in and free up a bit of space.  After that, I started reading FFXIAH and looking at various forum posts while checking the shouts to see if there was anything I'd be up for joining.  As it turns out, Keyoku happened to be in the midst of a Meeble Burrows shout.  I had seen a couple of them and decided to pass since I had already done the Adjunct level before I left.  Little did I know, because I didn't read, that the new Batallia Downs edition also had an Adjunct level, which is what people had been shouting for.  Fail on my part.

So I hopped into Key's party and off we went.  For the most part, I enjoy Meeble Burrows.  It's fairly quick, with each mission only giving you 15 minutes. I'm thankful that the party I was with didn't make me wait forever while they gathered and they weren't slow while completing the objectives.  We did have a couple of objectives that were just flat out stupid, such as this deal where you have to run around the map, mine one stupid piece of ore, then run all the way back to the entrance to hand it to an NPC.  All while avoiding enemies because you're penalized if you aggro anything.  Of course, your party has to turn in 9 of these ores in order to fully complete the objective.  Sometimes, I think SE just puts together bullshit missions because they don't know what else to do.

I also got a chance to taste the new Embrava nerf.  Sure, we weren't getting the awesome TP boost that we got before, but it honestly didn't keep us from winning the fight either.  I might be speaking ahead of myself, but it really doesn't seem that bad.  I think we have just become too depedent on the easy-mode button that Embrava has given us.  Yes, I'm speaking blasphemy by suggesting such a thing, but I don't give a damn.  I don't feel well and I'm tired.  Two reasons to basically not give a shit.  It's awesome.

After the fun with the Meebles, I had a couple of NM sets on me that I could use for my latest Empyreans.  Key was more than willing to help out with getting those done, and we may even team up to duo the rest.  That would be nice.  We didn't stay out there for long, but I did manage to get a few more items, and I even have a Glavoid set ready to go.  To end the night, I happened to see a shout by Ephexis for Ig-Alima.  I have no idea how useful it is, but I am still hoping to one day own a Borealis.  The name sound cool, and the sword glows.  If it's pretty, I'm interested.  Enough said.

My hopes are that my time here in Vana'diel are as productive (or at least as eventful) as today.  If so, then coming back might not be so bad after all.  I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Also, I need to take some screenshots.  This blog isn't nearly as pretty without pictures. =/

That didn't take long

What day did I come back here?  Saturday, I think.  So it's Monday morning and I'm already having panic attacks.  Damn this game, I swear.

Last night, I was invited to hang out and help with The Hills Are Alive KSNM.  As luck would have it, I also needed the egg from that fight and just happened to have exactly 99 Kindred Seals left to my name.  So I switched to Dark Knight in order to help out with skillchains (Samurai would've been better, but I was lazy) and headed to the battlefield.  We didn't do many fights...4 total, I think, but we ended up going 2/4 with the eggs.  As it turns out, I was one of the two lucky winners.  So now I have all three items to get a black belt for my Monk class that I have sorely neglected.  Yay me!

Hoping to skip past the nonsense of the purple and brown belt quests, I borrowed a brown belt from Bey and ran to Neptune's Spire.  Of course it couldn't be that easy.  Head held down, I walked out of the spire and looked up where all these stupid NMs spawn.  Due to my packrat nature, I had most of what I needed for both belts.  I was just missing Nue's Fang, Malborger's Vine, and a Rampaging Horn.  Off to Nue I go, I suppose.

I didn't spend much time out there before it spawned, and I was lucky to go 1/1 with it.  That made me happy.  So next up was that damn Marlboro.  After spending what seemed like an hour just to reach the spawn location, I was somewhat thankful in the knowledge that no one could possibly stumble upon this NM by accident and kill it out of boredom.  To reach this thing, you have to want to find it.  I arrive at the spawn location and notice it isn't around.  Son of a bitch.  Who the hell thought it was a good idea to come kill this thing when I want to do my quest?  People are so inconsiderate.  Looking at the spawn conditions, I realize this isn't something I'm just going to sit and wait for.  21-24 hour timed spawn.  Yeah, screw that.  However!  It was 10am and we had an impending update coming.  I figured maybe we'd have a server reset and the NM would spawn when they came back up.  I let myself time out there during maintenance and hopped on as soon as the servers were back.  To my dismay, no NM.  So I'm back to being flustered.  Next I decide to run out and find this Rampaging Ram.  Naturally, I've been out here for 2.5 hours with no spawn.

The frustration level was rising, and I'm already recovering from the flu.  Added stress isn't something I should be pursuing.  While doing all this, I'm watching some chatter in an LS that I'm visiting (I don't consider myself a memeber right now).  Of course, by no fault of their own, it's the usual "x event is so easy, I can solo such-and-such NM, look at all my shinies" conversation that takes places everywhere I try to avoid.  Chatter like that directly hits my self-esteem for whatever reason, and compound that with the frustration over this quest and I began to feel myself slipping away into that void of self-doubt that I seem to find myself in more often than not.

Before I let myself go completely, I zoned out for a moment.  I have to stop doing this to myself.  The reality of it is that I truly am trying too damn hard to keep up with people.  That's where I'm wrong.  I don't have to keep up.  What I have to do is be me.  That is what got me to the point where I am today as a player.  Of course, this doesn't mean that I will give up my desire to have nice things.  That's stupid.  I am still going to work on my Empyreans, and one day, I will have a relic.  I want to join a Neo-Nyzul Isle static and get awesome gear from there, as well as do the new Einherjar and Limbus.  By no means is this is a declaration of living contently with what I have no and relinquish all desire to improve.  It is; however, a realization that if I don't stop swatting the ghost of my own iniquity, that I am going to cause myself serious pain.

Over time, I have come to develop that elitist mentality, and I am worse off for it.  I have a saying in my bazaar, "You are what you believe yourself to be."  It's true, and I am becoming a victim of such thoughts.  I believe that I am not a good enough player to be considered among the upper echelon of people.  I have had numerous people say things to the contrary, but my self-esteem doesn't allow me to believe them.  I've run parses and have come out on top or within the top 3 during several fights.  I am not some incompetent person who operates without a clue and just "lols" through every screw up.  I learn from my mistakes and always strive to improve.  I have blogs written about me by my friends.  I don't know what I've done, but I must have done "something" right in my time here.

Sure, my name my never appear in the FFXIAH listing, and I might live my entire FFXI life without more than a handful of people who know who I am.  However, those who do know me have stated many times that they enjoy my presence.  Hell, some of them even adore me, and I adore them.  That means something.  Will I ever reach the ranks of the top-end players?  Probably not, and I have to learn to be ok with that.  Chasing the love of those who don't know me while shunning the love of those next to me will inevitably leave me a very lonely and isolated player...as well as a person.

So, I'll continue my farming of these stupid ass NMs and slowly make my way to having another Empyrean weapon.  I'll work on the rest of my projects and finish what I can in the time that I can afford to give them.  If hanging out with my friends means that I don't get whatever awesome item is out at the exact moment of release, that's ok too.  What matters is that I don't lose myself in the process, and that I keep those precious few friends of mine close.  Ranking be damned.

Of course, saying this is easy.  Making myself believe it and stick to it will be the challenge.  I can do it, right?

That special group

You know what I wish I had more than anything else in this game? It's not gear, gil, power, or anything of that sort. What I desire is to have a small group of competent and skilled friends.

Now, I actually do have friends who are very skilled. Extremely skilled, in some cases. However, they are rarely available. Those who are available aren't usually around at consistent times, or I can only find one or two people at any given moment. Because of this, I usually wind up doing a lot of things on my own or with pickup groups if I'm lucky.

I truly don't understand why it seems so difficult for me to find a small group that I fit into. This should not be confused with a feeling of isolation with my current LS; I don't feel that at all. It's quite the opposite. I'm very much at home with this group. Well, when I can access the vent server, at least. Right now, I'm a bit detached from them because of some internet problems, but that's another tale.

What I'm talking about is that group of friends that you run out and do small things with. You know, go fight some NMs, do some quests or missions, farm some items...that sort of thing. That's the kind of group I want to be in, but my friends are always so scattered or already in their established groups. I don't always think about this type of deal, but a recent event brought it to the forefront of my thoughts. Are you ready for a story, my wonderful minions? Here we go.

---

A couple of posts back, I mentioned I had returned to leveling Summoner. I definitely like the job, but I had more or less retired that class. There's a reason behind everything I do, even when it appears trivial. Remember all the talk about improving some of my primary jobs? Summoner was never on that list, but I've been using that job more often than not lately. The reason behind this is because there are some other items in Abyssea that I am after, and really don't want to bother my LS or other people for. Items that are important to me don't necessarily have that same meaning for anyone else.

Enter the realm of the Iron Giants. I'm sure you've seen shouts for their items in Port Jeuno while you're looking for a party. Well, in my quest to improve, I noticed that these enemies have a few items that would be really useful to me. The first giant on the list for me is Ironclad Severer. I chose this one for multiple reasons. With this one, I could improve 2 jobs that are very useful in Abyssea (BLM / SMN) and there is also an item that would really help me with my melee TP set for Dancer, Corsair, and quite possibly even Ranger.

The next step was figuring out how to beat it. This is where SMN came into play. Could I do it with other jobs more effectively? I actually think I could do it faster as an RDM, but I still don't have wyrmal legs for movement speed. Though I have the Atma of Ambition, I think I'd be cutting just a bit too close for comfort. If I do ever get those pants, I'll certainly give it a shot. So I get SMN leveled, merited, and head off to find this thing. The first fight was not fun. I had no idea what to expect, despite reading wiki. I died multiple times, but I was fortunate enough to be on at a time when no one was camping. I came back each time until I finished the fight. Pitiful as it may seem, this is only the second major NM that I have ever fought on my own; the first being Boompadu a while back.

I remember telling Dierdren when I won. My hands were shaking and I was so excited to realize that I could not only fight this, but I could beat it. Naturally, the first fight took a long time for me. Well over an hour. Chalk it up to being inexperienced and afraid to take risks. Not to mention the whole multiple death and homepoints. Near the end, I did have a bit of help from Jamarn so it wasn't a 100% solo effort. Still, I was more confident to fight this without help now that I had an understanding of what it would do. Along with this win came the first of the upgrades, which went to SMN. While I could've taken the BLM piece too, I wanted Jamarn to have something for coming out and helping.

This was to become the place where I spent most of my solo time online. If I wasn't trying to build time somewhere, I was searching for this NM. When I saw people online who I thought might be willing to help, I'd wait to see if I could get the claim and then ask them to come out. Sometimes they would be able to, but many of the fights were done without them. At times when I arrived and someone was fighting it, I noticed something very different between them and me: They weren't alone. No matter who I met in that area, no one was ever by themselves. If a single person was there and got the claim, it was only a few minutes until an entire party arrived to help them.

So then I started to wonder, why don't I have that? Where's my group? For all the friends I've got on my friend list, why can't I get that small band of people that does stuff like this? I didn't want to beg people to come help me, so I just stuck it out and asked the few people that I saw online.

I think the most disheartening news I received during this whole thing was when I encountered a Japanese THF at the camp one day. I was fighting the giant when I got caught without Stoneskin and died. While there, a WHM was watching. I asked if they wanted an item and was willing to give it to them if they needed it. They said "I'm sorry" and I continued on until I died. At that moment, another Summoner entered. Then more people came, including this THF. He was the reason they all showed up. Turns out he and I were both after the last and most important item from this NM, Taranis's Harness.

There wasn't any expressed hatred from either side. I lost the NM and they claimed it. Fair is fair, I suppose. Miliani did show up to help me, but I more or less figured they would kill it and I just wanted the ToD. Turns out that Ironclad was pretty pissed from all of us messing around with it and it dropped the other group too. We got it back and continued the fight. While it was technically "my" NM since I got it when it first spawned, I felt a little sympathetic towards the other party. So I made a proposal to team up. It took a little while through auto-translate, but he agreed and we made it a team effort. Stupid giant still didn't put out, but now I had a small team to do this faster. He was willing to camp Severer as long as it took, but I had to run for Dynamis before the next spawn. Naturally, I get a tell mid-run. "{Body} GET ! ! ! !" Goddamn Dynamis.

Anyway, when our run was over, I resume the camping. The THF would talk to me in /t, but he was nowhere to be found as far as camping was concerned. He then told me: "You {/no} {Element} WS = {/no} drop." Referring to triggering the weakness of Abyssea NMs, he more or less told me that I was shit out of luck on getting that harness as long I was fighting as a Summoner. There was simply no feasible method for me to trigger the weakness. A part of me hated him for saying that, but he seemed to be right so far. Breathem tried to help me a few times with weaknesses, but it just didn't happen. The thought of not having a group got to me more and more.

People say that it's so easy to get a group of friends and go do things whenever you want. I beg to differ. Then again, maybe it's just me.

Keeping up with the Joneses

There's always the pressure of wanting to stay current with things. Not just for the betterment of yourself, but because this game is fueled by elitists who are quick to point out how inferior you are when you don't perform to the perceived minimum standard.

You can usually tell them to go piss off and still manage to enjoy your time.

However, do you ever feel more pressured to keep up with your friends or associates? You know, the ones who generally accept you exactly as you are, regardless of your gear or skill. The ones who don't really care about all that, yet are somehow phenomenally much farther ahead or better geared than you.

Sure, you might wander about town and see someone with a Masamune and wish you had one, but it doesn't bother you. Hell, you might even see someone out there with the very gear you've been dying to have, but you aren't upset because you don't know them. Then you get a tell from one of your friends who tells you they were randomly invited to a group to kill an NM that you've personally been trying to get help with for ages, and you go into a silent rage. Does this ever happen to you?

Obviously, it happens to me or I wouldn't be talking about it. Truthfully, I feel bad for admitting this. Even worse for actually feeling that way. These are my friends, and I should be congratulating them. I do, but there's always that feeling of "wtf?!" in the back of my head. I should be happy that they went off and got the atma from Eccentric Eve and others with just a pickup group. Cheering them on because they got a random invite to a zone boss just for shits and giggles. I am supposed to be thrilled when they get an Abyssea party that lasts for 10 hours non-stop with drops galore and people leveling left and right. I should be super ecstatic when they send me a tell with nothing more than an item name of their latest drop, followed by a large smile.

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I were actually a part of that fun when my friends go out and do things. It would be nice to get included on things other than just events. Jealousy and envy are horrible things to have, especially towards the people who are your friends. Considering that though, it's quite possible that I really don't deserve to be included.

After all, a real friend wouldn't be envious, right?

Only in Vana'diel

I glanced over some of the new items from yesterday's update. A lot of it looks very nice. The +2 armor versions seem to be much better than anything we currently have. So much better, in fact, that it looks as if people are going to need to completely redo all of their armor setups.

All of the weeks, months, and years of effort that some people have put into what they currently have is essentially being made obsolete with items from this update and the last. Hell, even some of the items from last update are already antiquated from yesterday's download.

The overwhelming player response to this?

1. FUCK YEAH!!

2. OMG, Best update ever!

3. Holy shit, I'm going to have to redo everything from scratch. I'm so excited!!

4. Lol, all my shit is outdated now. Man, this is awesome. Go Square-Enix!!

I'm all for progress and I understand that gear eventually has to give way to something better, but really? You'd figure after putting forth all the effort to get the best items, they'd do something to make the best...a bit better. Not make it obsolete in the face of new gear that you will undoubtedly have to go to ridiculous lengths to acquire. Especially since that so-called useless gear took so long to get in the first place.

Personally, this stuff doesn't affect me much. I don't have that awesome gear to begin with. It's just surprising that people are actually excited to more or less start everything over.

But Dude...It's FREE!

Let's get something straight...Trial of the Magian weapons are NOT FREE!!

The only "free" part about these ordeals are the shitty base weapons that you can grab from that splintery chest by the Magian Moogle. That's it. The rest of the process is the furthest thing from free that can be imagined.

It doesn't matter which version of the weapon you're aiming for. Every one of them costs something. Somewhere along the line, you're going spend something. You're going to use food, potions, reraise items, or something else on your path to create whatever weapon you feel is going to help you in your endeavors. At the very least, you're going to spend a ton of time on these.

I don't know about you all, but time isn't cheap in my world. These weapons take days, if not weeks or more to complete. There are some weapons that can be "done in a day," but even that's a lot of time. If by "a day" you mean a 24 hour stretch, then that's a long ass time to run around chasing various enemies under particular conditions.

I won't say these magian goodies aren't worth the effort, but don't ever try to tell me that these things are "free." Well you can try, but I'll slap you silly if you're within reach.

Realigning the Focus

I've been doing some thinking, yet again.

Remember awhile back when I was talking about being typecast in particular roles and losing the enjoyment of said role as time goes on? I still believe in that thought process, but with a few exceptions. I've also come to realize that while it may be annoying as hell, my hesitation to change a few things isn't doing any good either.

I find that I get bored with jobs rather quickly. Well, bored is a strong word. I enjoy every job I've leveled or I wouldn't have done it. Even White Mage. It's more a matter of frustration when I start to feel that I am not as useful in a particular role. To counter that feeling, I level something different. I don't remember what jobs I had at the time when I first brought this up, but I know it wasn't many. I think I had just recently leveled Paladin. Well, a lot has changed since then.


Currently, I have twelve jobs at 75. At first glance, you'd think that's a great thing right? That's what I initially thought, but not so much now. The reason being is that a job doesn't become immediately useful once you reach the level cap. I knew this from the start, but I always thought that if nothing else, I'd be able to help out in some way. Even if just a small amount.

The problem was that when I leveled a job, I wanted to use it. I was in the mindset of leveling to meet an immediate need without taking into consideration the things required for that job to be truly helpful. You know, have the job available and when you know you're going to be using it, then you work on really bringing out the full potential. I see that now as backwards thinking. Regardless, I now have several classes that are dire need of gear upgrades and merits.

I don't know about you, but twelve jobs has been a very costly thing for me, both in time and gil. While many of them can share gear to an extent, once you really involved with any particular job, there are several pieces that just don't work as well as multi-use items. So what do I do about it? After a lot of thinking and hesitation, I figure the best thing to do is follow Cal's advice and just focus on a few jobs and leave the rest as "toy classes." Now it's a matter of deciding which classes to turn my attention to.

Out of all my available classes, I find myself primarily on 3 for any given endgame event. Samurai, Red Mage, and Paladin. In truth, out of those 3, I'm more of an RDM than anything else. I could go the super extreme route of retiring everything except RDM, but that wouldn't be a wise move at all.

I think the next step will be to sell off my non-ex gear for the other jobs so I'll have both gil to buy better gear and the space to store it. I admit that I don't really want to do this, but my original plan of being helpful doesn't really seem to be helping at all. Maybe this will make things a bit easier. Not to mention, it's a lot less stressful to only worry about 3 jobs as opposed to 12.