A New Life

Well it's been a full week since the server merge so now I feel that I can give a less emotional and more rational opinion of what I think about things now.

As Dizzmal said in his recent blog, there are a few idiots that now have the joy of being hated by two servers instead of one. Inglorion is one, and now we have Tudds as well. The sad part about Tudds is that he wasn't this way on Hades. The only thing that has changed is the audience, and now he sits in Whitegate doing nothing more than useless "Did you know" shouts. Unfortunately, I feel that he has fallen victim to the "GIFT".


I've seriously been tempted to shout the Old Spice version of "Did you know," but that would be condoning the behavior and feeding into it, even though I do find that commercial funny.

Competition seems pretty fierce in sky, but I haven't been anywhere else *cough*we need events, Epic*cough* to really know how things are in other places. We did a Dynamis-Taznavia run, and only one other LS showed up. Of course, that was well over 30 minutes from our initial gather time so I can't call that competition as much as our ever-growing inability to start an event on time.

Currently, the flavor of the month is the new Trial of the Magians, but I just don't see the point to it. Sure, it beats having to camp some of the NMs for weapons that are similar to what these provide, but how much time will you spend doing these trials in comparison to camping? Also, the main benefit of these seem to favor relic / mythic holders...and I don't have either. So that's one thing I won't be taking part in.

The biggest change in all of this is my new name. It's really throwing myself and other people off. When I switched over to SoV for our Kirin burn, I remember Tidis going "Who the hell is Carinde anyway?" Oye. Thankfully, some people were quick to point out who I am. It should be obvious, really. I'm the only one in SoV who doesn't talk, and I'm the Samurai who idles in Askar with a flower in my hair. Jesus people, learn to recognize what your teammates wear. >.>

Aside from that, I'm meeting some nice people. I was worried that Cerberus would be a server full of jackasses and morons, but if the shouts in Whitegate are any indication, I think we brought over more jackasses than they initially had. Maybe they're just hiding their true nature for another time. I've also looked at several of the people while I'm wandering from place to place. All I can say is Salvage must be the premier event of this server. I swear, I've yet to see a 75 BLM or RDM that did not have a Morrigan's Robe. I don't know about the skill these people have, but they are certainly well geared.

So far, I haven't personally run into a problem with anyone. There was someone yesterday during a Nyzul Run that grated my nerves slightly with talk about the Goliard Saio and apparently couldn't take a joke. Meh, it was so minor that it's not even worth going into detail.

As it stands, I'm ok with how things are turning out. The issue with my name is the only thing proving to be a major hangup for me right now. Almost two years of having Jacinda and then suddenly having to switch is really tearing at me. I'm in no rush to change servers just to get my name back, but I won't lie and say the thought has never crossed my mind. More and more each day, it seems.

Oh, and of course....I still die everywhere I go.

Creative Ideas

First, thanks to everyone that responded to my earlier blog. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what I should do in regards to my play habits and what I will do from this day forward.

I'm going to continue to sign on and spend time with my friends. Despite the tone of constant bitching that exists on this blog, I'm actually quite happy when I'm online. I will be more cognizant of the hours that I play and will make certain that I adhere to the midnight-12:30 cutoff time during the week. Weekends are still going to be my free-for-all days. Hopefully my early sign offs don't cause too many problems with my ls but if it does, then oh well. I love my ls, but man there are days when I feel like we are going nowhere while every other ls makes astounding progress. That's a blog for another time though.

Anyway, I really do appreciate what all of you said. Also, holy crap at having 5 readers!!! All of Vana'diel will soon know my name!

...

Shut up and let me dream.


Anyway, on to the main topic.

I've been looking at new layouts for my blog from time to time, and I have to say that I'm not very impressed with some of the designs I see. Some of them are neat, but I want something that is tailored to me. One of the things I want most is a signature graphic. Not something super cluttered like I see on forum signatures, and definitely not something so big that you need two monitors for it. I'd take a picture from my failBox and manipulate that to my liking but, the images aren't that great in quality and usually too small to work with.

I understand there's a modeling program that you can use to dress and pose your characters, then take awesome screenshots as well. This would be ideal except the fact that I play on the failBox and the program doesn't work for that. I do think my aging PC will play FFXI, though I'm not so sure how well it would do.

Do any of you have other ideas on how to get some custom images to use in signatures? Or would you be willing to take my character information (jobs, gear, facial model, etc.) and create something? Any ideas would be appreciated.

Reality vs. Fantasy

Yesterday, I had "the talk." No, not the birds and the bees. I had that talk long ago. This was the gamer's talk. The one where your family says that you are wasting your life and you've become this hollow shell of the wonderful person you used to be. Anyone familiar with this?

Maybe this isn't the place for me to say these types of things, but this is a blog about by gaming life. If you don't want to read it, move along and come back later.

For anyone who's still reading (well, it's mainly two people), thanks.

Unfortunately, this isn't a chat that I can say I never heard before. Of course, it's always coming from the same person and not everyone I deal with. So usually I just brush it off and move on with life. This time, I really lost sleep over it. I went to bed unusually early and then woke up at midnight. After trying to force myself to go back to sleep, I simply said forget it and fired up FFXI, thinking I'd see some friends online. Then I started thinking.

Am I really an addict to games? Does the simple act of asking that question imply that I am and now seek some form of justification to prove that I'm not? Have I really pushed the few friends that I had away because of games, or did we just grow apart?

I asked myself those and so many more, and I'm still looking for answers. I don't know what to think. I find myself trying to explain this to people that don't play games as much or at all. Of course, I receive the quizzical expression as they struggle to understand how a game could actually mean something to a person. Games are beyond the ping-pong / Pac-man stage now. It boggles my mind to see how people refuse to understand that.

I grew up with games. My father bought my first console when I was six and I've loved them since. Videogames, Lego sets, all that neat stuff. I found a comfort in gaming. As I grew and changed, so did gaming, both in the technical aspect and the overall content. Character development & engaging plots are no longer the exception; they are requirements. It's easy to find yourself laughing out loud at some of the silly things game characters do, or to be pissed at one of the "evil" characters. We even cry at some of the things we see and get attached to the characters we play.

MMOs have even more of an effect. It's not just a game character I'm looking at when I'm in parties, events, or whatever else. There are people on the other side. I've never met most of you and the chance that I ever will is next to non-existent, but does that mean my experiences with you don't mean anything? Is it stupid to consider some of you my friends when all we do is hang out in a virtual world? Hell, what defines a "friend"? Is a friend a person that I have to be face-to-face with? There are people I've "met" here that I consider to be some great people, and I also choose to call them my friends...but am I wrong to do so since we've never done anything other than FFXI-related events?

I've been told that life is passing me by and all I ever seem to want to do is game. Sometimes, yeah I do want to just sit and game for a day. Other times, I feel like going somewhere. However, I'm not the type who likes to do things alone. I just don't find enjoyment in solo activities. So if no "real friends" are around, then I fire up my game and do something there. Then when some of those real people do come around and want to do something I have no interest in, everything is immediately blamed on the gaming. I've been called every synonym for anti-social and hermit that there is, but I am social as hell when I'm at work. When I get off work, I go the the gym and chat with some people there. I may not have a lot to talk about, but I do make an attempt. Then I come home and want to relax. So I game.

I've never been one to watch much television. Cartoons and a few movies were pretty much the extent of it. News is depressing and is always full of who got raped, shot, robbed, or some other event that points out how violent and stupid the human race is. We're constantly told how crappy the economy and job-markets are, as if we're incapable of seeing the long unemployment lines or sky-rocketing gas prices. Regular television is now littered with "reality" shows that are anything but real. When is the last time you saw a reality show where nothing happened? When people just got up, went to work / school, had a boring-ass day and that was it? The car didn't break down; the whorish daughter didn't have the football team fondling her in the garage and then post a youtube video of it; the misunderstood boy wasn't cutting himself in the kitchen, and the parents weren't arguing about who gets to screw the gardener? I apologize now since that type of stuff doesn't interest me. TV just bores me. There are a couple of shows I enjoy, but even they are cookie-cutter in design.

Yet, because I find gaming more entertaining than the rest of these things, there is something wrong with me. I can't actually give a damn about any of you because you aren't real. You're all a bunch of avatars that wander this virtual landscape who don't actually give a damn about me or anyone else you come in contact with over the course of your gaming lives. These games are killing my life and will be the reason that I spend the rest of my existence alone. Nothing good will ever come from me playing a game. Ever. No friends, no job, no relationships. Just fake accomplishments and digital gear that will never do anything to further my goals in reality.

That is how is constantly presented to me.

I have always fought to believe that the nay-sayers are wrong. It's been my firm belief that a friendship formed in an MMO can be just a strong as one formed in the coffee shop down the street from me. Today I questioned it, and now I feel lost. Are any of you really my friends, or am I just naive? Am I supposed to engage in as many shallow activities as I can fit into my life all in the name of saying that I lived to the fullest? Does it mean that something is missing from my life because I can honestly say that I'm happy when I'm gaming?

I'm not a little kid who has never seen the world before. I have traveled across the globe; met many different people; took part in several different experiences; loved, cried, laughed, and so much more. I work everyday; pay bills / taxes; help people when I can; and I'm there for my family when they need me. I'm not some social reject or embarrassment to society.

Still, I find myself wondering: Has it all been a waste? Was I supposed to follow the path that everyone else did and leave the gaming world that I've known and loved all my life?

Is there really something wrong with me?

Lessons in failure

I really enjoy Nyzul Isle. No sarcasm or anything in that statement. I truly have a blast when I go in there, most of the time.

Unfortunately, there are times when I am ready to pimp-slap the shit out of the nearest moogle due to a bad run. Now, there are different types of bad runs. Really horrible floors with Chariots, Soulflayers, lamps w/gears, etc. Or when someone d/c on a lamp floor that has code and you're forced to fail cause not everyone has registered. These types of runs are definitely frustrating, but you usually get mad at the situation and not the people.

But...

When a run goes bad due to a lack of comprehension on the player's part, then I have a problem. Really, Nyzul is not hard. Yes, it has it's moments, but the concept of each floor type is fairly straightforward. So why lord, why do we have so many damned people that just can't understand a lamp floor to save their life? I just don't get it.

For all you people who check me and happen upon this blog, if you don't read anything else...read this and keep this shit at the front of your memory every time you go into this event. I'm going to break down lamps for you. You can't claim ignorance as your saving excuse now.

There are 3 types of Lamp Floors. I feel like I'm regurgitating Wikipedia here, but obviously people are having a hard time understanding how things are put.

1. Same Time

One of the easiest types. Everyone searches the ruins to find a lamp, and when you do, they must all be turned on at the same time. The concept is the exact same as timed nuking for mages. Look at the game clock, and ONE person calls a time. Then, when that time comes, everyone clicks the lamp and follows the prompts to activate it. If done correctly, all lamps light up and you go on to the next floor.

Of course, someone is bound to mess this up. In the event that happens, the lamps then enter a cooldown period where they can't be turned on again for a short while. This is around 20-30 seconds. So stay off the lamp, and wait for a new time to be called.

2. Code

This is the type that everyone prays for, but rarely ever get. There is one lamp within the floor. The only thing you have to do is click on it. That's it. No fancy trick to it. Just click the lamp and you'll get a message that says "Your certification code has been registered." Then you're done.

Now, the helpful thing to do here after you've registered is to take your happy ass back to the rune. If you're a mage, I can understand wanting to rest. DD's and Thieves have no reason to stand around the lamp. Get back to the rune so you can take everyone up to the next floor instead of having everyone run back at once. This seems minor until you get a code floor where the lamp is on the ass end of the map and it's a long distance to return to the rune.

3. Specified Order

This is the most painful of the three types, and what almost everyone dreads. The unfortunate part is that there really isn't a reason to be scared of this. It just takes focus and communication. When everyone finds a lamp, simple say you have one in party chat and wait. The universally accepted symbol for this is a very easy "/". This way the leader knows who's at a lamp and who's still looking.

There are as little as three lamps or as many as five. One person will call out the order for the lamp activation. Now here's the tricky part. You'll know when you've found all the lamps because they will turn on, regardless of the order. If you start a call with only three lamps and they don't turn on, then you know more are around. Once they light up, pay attention to the order than you used when turning them on. This is important because once they go off, if you use the same order that you just did, you're simply wasting time. I'll break this down for everyone (just like it is on Wiki...see a pattern here?)

Disclaimer: I'm just throwing out names here, these are not people I've been frustrated with.

Jacinda, Lisa, EP, Yoko, Yuna

This will be our first attempt. So I go first, followed by Lisa, then EP, Yoko, and finally Yuna. Also, when you activate a lamp, be sure to say so in party chat. Keep in mind that time is of the essence here, and people are waiting for you to let them know that it's ok for them to turn on their lamp. If you just sit there, then people wonder what's going on and that adds needless frustration.

All lamps will turn on at this point. After a few seconds, some of the lamps will go off. In this case, mine, Lisa, and Yuna's go off. Yoko and EP's lamps stay on. This means that Yoko and EP are in the right position while everyone else is wrong. Next turn.

Lisa, Yuna, EP, Yoko, Jacinda

Everyone's position except Yoko and EP has to change because we know their lamps were turned on in the wrong order since they went off. Now, Yoko and EP's lamps will stay on, even after everyone else's has turned off. However, when the new order is called, they still have to activate their lamp again. This seems to blow the mind of several people who sit at the lamp and just stare at the pretty colors instead of activating it again. Anyway, the lamps are turned on, and now we watch to see which ones go off again. Unfortunately, Lisa's, Yuna's and mine all go off again, indicating that the order still isn't correct. Don't fret when this happens. Pay attention to the order and remember which ones you used before. Now we try a third:

Yuna, Jacinda, EP, Yoko, Lisa.

The lamps light up, and the Rune of Transfer activates. Hooray!!

If everyone communicates, stays focused, and remembers their order (or use a pencil and paper), you can save yourself a lot of time when this floor type comes. Nyzul Isle is all about shaving off seconds, and wasting time on a floor that's relatively simple is nothing short of rage-inducing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I just had a tag that I waited all day to get wasted because of a lamp floor. I need to find a moogle; mine ran away.

On Broken Wings (Revisited)

Holy crap, it's been a long time since I talked about the previous missions for Wings of the Goddess. I really think SE needs to pick up the pace when it comes to releasing these. We get broken updates and all sorts of emergency maintenance that we never look forward to on a semi-regular basis, but something as awesome as WotG takes several months to a year to get updated.

As always, I don't want to spoil the story and I won't break that now. I'll say again that if you haven't started this or are not current, quit doing whatever the hell it is you're working on and go see this stuff. You will not be disappointed. I don't know what the end reward is, and I can truly say that I don't care. The story is just that good. The cutscenes are definitely the best I've seen in this game. The only thing remotely close is ToAU, and that's because of the awesome music they have at the Alexander fight.

The situation from the last update has become worse, and they've done a lot to explain some of the earlier loopholes that were left in place from before. You also learn a bit more about the identities of the Spitewardens, with one hell of a twist at the end when a new warden is revealed. The tide of the Crystal War is changing and not everything is played out according to the history as we've come to know it.

This update has a very somber tone to it and doesn't have many joyful moments. There are a couple of bright spots amidst the battles, in particular with the "energetic" Alexei Mayakov and the love-stricken Samurai, Noillurie. You do get a chance to see Lilisette fight again, and wow...I am definitely going to level Dancer if we are able to do anything close to what she's capable of.

I only took a few pictures this time, as I was truly entranced with the story and only rarely was I able to break away from the screen to grab my camera. I don't play on PC, so no quick screenshots for me. ; ; I'll probably go back and help other people do this in the hopes that I can watch the cutscenes again to take more pictures.

There were so many awesome screenshot possibilities, but as I said before, I was really just too focused on enjoying what I was watching to really care about pausing for a photo. You really do owe it to yourself to go through these missions. For everything we say SE has done wrong with Vana'diel, they are doing an incredible job with Wings of the Goddess.

Just to clarify

I guess it would probably help if you all knew what my new name is so you stop ignoring me when I wave to you. It's now "Carinde." If I had to guess, 99% percent of you just pronounced the name wrong, so I'll help you out:

Kahrynday

Practice that a few times. Of course, the people who are actually reading this blog already know me by my original name, so learning how to say this one really isn't that important. Whatever. At least you know. So one more time, and I even made a picture!!

I kept the same picture to keep things simple. See how considerate I am?

Do unto others...

Yesterday was a pretty emotional post. I was pissed about the way I entered this new server, my name gets taken from me, and I'm greeting by some immature jackasses upon logging on. Not the best start to a day. Today, I decided to give it another shot.

I was talking to Caliburn earlier and he told me the obvious "they aren't all bad here" story. Of course I know that. It's just easier to look at everyone as bad rather than sift through the crap to find people that you can actually like.

As I said yesterday, I have no justifiable reason for my actions and based them all on emotion. Logic eventually prevailed and I warped out of Crawler's Nest, which is where I previously decided to barricade myself and stay away from most people for awhile . I wasn't about to suddenly do a 180 and try to rub elbows with everyone, but I'd at least attempt to give people a chance. I ended up switching to Dancer and went out to solo for a bit. I ran into a PLD who happened to be doing a FoV page right where I was. Rather than see who could kill the fastest and take over the camp, I offered to team up. Come to find out, he's Japanese. Yay for language barriers. >.>

He agreed and we hung out for awhile, trading broken English and botched Japanese phrases with each other. It was pretty fun to be honest. Then when it was over, I made another stupid mistake of /healing and nearly getting myself killed by those damn Voidwalkers. Thankfully, I was far enough away that I didn't summon it, but I was damn close. I told my new JP buddy about it, but he had no clue what I meant. So I took him to the NPC who could better explain it. Then we decided to look for one and see what we could do. Brilliant guy that he was, he changed from 42 PLD to 75 DRK. Me, on the other hand, decided to stay a feeble little 41 DNC and go looking around. I mean, why not? I had a Galkan Dark Knight with me, I knew I was safe.

We ran to Rolanberry Fields to look around when my crystal started showing signs of an NM nearby. So I threw up some shadows and went on the hunt, with Cloviss close behind. Just as I was about to spawn it, another party was nearby who was also after the same NM.

Surprisingly, they asked to team up. I expected them to try spawning it first, but I was pleasantly surprised by their request. I accepted and thenspawned the NM. I didn't know jack about this thing, but I swung my little daggers with pride. I might have hit it twice during the entire fight. Of course, I looked it up later and realized it was level 83. I felt pretty stupid, but whatever. Then it was time for Cloviss to get some sleep, and the other party welcomed me into theirs.

We spent the next couple of hours traveling to different zones, spawning various Tier I Abysseans and trying to figure out how this whole thing worked. I understand it now, but i was pretty lost at the start. We also tried our hand at spawning a Tier II NM. I mean, how hard could it be right? Hahahaha. You know where this is headed.

The four of us got our ass kicked pretty quickly. It evaded a lot of attacks, cast Tier IV spells, and then it happily Chainspelled and told us to lay down and die like good boys and girls. Bring more people for Tier II Abysseans. Just giving you a forewarning. The NM spawning and fighting went on for awhile and then we decided to go our separate ways. As soon as I popped up in Whitegate, I noticed a WotG shout for the mission I was on. Luckily, it was with the same guy from yesterday. More on that later, as WotG posts always deserve to be isolated from the rest of my ramblings. After the mission, we all talked about what was going on and then the conversation of what server we're from came up.

I promptly prepared for the server bashing comments to come. None did, which was a big relief. Instead, we all just had a fun time chatting for a bit. I even got some new people on my friend list. I even told them that the welcome they gave was a hell of a lot better than what I saw initially.

I guess the point of all this was to say that I know everyone on the server isn't a jackass, and it just means that I have to give each person the chance to show their colors. In reality, I'd want them to give me the same chance that they deserve as well. So far, I've been pleased with the people I've actually talked to. I'm sure I'll meet some asses soon enough, and hopefully I'll be in Xarcabard [S] or some other place where an MPK opportunity won't be far away.