I don't even know what to say...

Yep.

I did it.  Again.  Again.

Heaven only knows why.  Actually, I think I might know too.  History says this will be a short return, but whatever.  So I've been away from here, living this thing called life.  Working more hours, doing instruction, bought a car, etc, etc.  Played some different games and have been generally enjoying myself.  Well, not really.  Still stuck in the single life, which is a whole different brand of depressing, but truly...I play videogames and have a personal blog about it.  Even E-Harmony couldn't find a match.  Another story for another time.

So here I am...back in Vana'diel.  All I can say is...what...the...fuck.  Why?  Why the hell am I here?????  I signed on last night after realizing my time with Borderlands has become nothing more than farming and fighting the same damn boss over and over again in the hopes of getting a rare weapon that will let me kill another boss over and over and over again.  Of course, I miss my friends in Vana'diel, but it's not as if coming back here is suddenly going to make them all gravitate to me and want to hang out.

I saw some familiar faces, and was even greeted with excitement by a few.  Several "Welcome Backs" and even got flirted with a bit.  Oh, I was also told to write about how awesome Swk is, so...let everyone know that Swk is awesome because I'm saying so.  Don't argue with my words.

It was great to see Regan, Lillie, Alerith, Garn, Dierdren, Swk, Darkdestroyer, Keyoku, Doccan, and several others.  I even got invited to a pick up group for Neo-Nyzul Isle.  You know I was excited to do that because I couldn't get that even when I was in a top-tier linkshell.

Anyway, back to why I'm here.  I don't know.  Nothing has changed.  Drop rates still suck; people still dual-box the hell out of NMs and apparently not having a relic means you're a shitty player and should live a life of shame.  Granted, I've only been here for a few hours since last night, but I haven't seen anything that makes me think Vana'diel is any different from several months ago.

They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same action under the exact same conditions while expecting a different outcome.

I suppose that means two things.  I either need to change the way I view and play this game so I can enjoy it like so many high-end players, or just accept the fact that I must be insane and continue to drive myself to boredom and insanity while standing around Port Jeuno...hoping for something different.

The third option would be to just walk away from this game, but we've seen how well that worked out.