February 21, 2012

What are you doing, Jaci?

Long story short...I'm done. If you care to know why, keep reading. Otherwise, take care.

A few days ago, I saw a friend that I haven't seen online for awhile. For the times he was around, he was always in Altepa. When I asked why he was leveling so much, he told me that he managed to acquire all of the materials for two Empyrean weapons and was raising his classes to match. I was shocked. I hardly saw him online, and he's hardly the type to use /anon. So I asked how he managed it. His answer set my mind on a path that made me realize it's time to walk away from Vana'diel.

He simply said: "I dual box."

Dual boxing is nothing new, and I don't have any problem with those who use it. There was a joke in the Excellence LS that we had more mule accounts than active members. Even in my current shell, there is a nearly 1:1 ratio of real:mule accounts. However, it never mattered to me before. So why now?

Well, it matters now because mules used to be brought out when we couldn't find people, or when circumstances truly called for it. Now, it's become the norm. Which is fine in a way because it grants people freedom to do what they want, when they want. At the same time, it also takes away one of the very things I loved about this game. Groups.

I can't blame all of this on dual boxing. The level increases have made us stronger than ever, and old content is laughable at best in terms of difficulty. So why make parties for something you can do alone? For me, I'm more interested in the journey. I miss being with my friends. Laughing together or getting pissed at one another. We were doing things together and making memories. When I look at my screenshots now, they're all of me. Solo, solo, solo. Either that or it's me with several random people I may never meet again. That doesn't do anything for me.

Linking the latest item I get in LS chat means nothing to me if the people in the LS weren't with me while I was getting it. Sure, they say congratulations but what does it matter to them? It doesn't. There are no memories to be shared with them. I remember Bey while we worked on my Gandiva; cutest Taru white mage with attitude in the land. Popping NMs without fear and running across the zone to find me. Or Frice always getting himself killed because he drank too much and didn't focus. EP and his knack for being late to everything. Neebix and Lillie always yelling at each other during our events. The memories made and the time spent with friends means more to me than any item I'll ever get in this game.

Truthfully, I have had to fight the urge to sign on since I left. I want to play. I spent three years of my life making Jacinda what she is now. I just leveled Dark Knight (shut up) and got my cool Resolution weapon skill. I want to come back and have fun with my friends. The problem is most of my friends are gone. The ones who are here are involved in their own things. I wouldn't expect anything else, either. It's not their responsibility to do things with me just because I feel alone.

That is what it all comes down to. I am playing an MMO more or less by myself, and I don't want to do that anymore. So anyway, that's my story. If any of you got to the end of this, know that I am going to miss you all.


Fin said...

I will miss you, fren~ Wish you lived closer!

Anonymous said...

God, i fully understand how you feel, in fact, it may be the primary reason i end up qitting. because even with a mule, it makes no sense to have to do everything alone. (myst btw) i had even talked to you about that very same thing and said you could ask me when you needed help that day when you almost gave up on your katana, but i guess you broke down before i did. I HAD to get a mule because i honestly had no choice, it was either get a mule, or get nothing done.

I won't really plead you to come back, because as i said, i am in the same boat as you atm, wondering why do i bother logging on latelty if the only thing i have ponder when i get on is (hmm, what do i solo today) i hate it, cause that's not what this game is about, but most people on this game are only for them selves, unless you, of course pay them, or they get something out of it, i don't even bother asking for help anymore because i know i will get one of 2 responses, Ignored comeplety or "i'm busy doing this all of a sudden" if you stay gone, i will miss you, if not, you know who to talk to if you come back.

Anonymous said...


I've always tried to do stuff with you chickie :( I'm going to miss you and hope that if you come back you'll send me a friendly /tell. Or we can always text if you still have the same number that I have in my phone. Hope that life treats you well and sorry that you miss all your friends who have moved on. If you decide to come back I will always find time to spend time with you.

<3 Me! You should know who I am!

Fahzewn said...

I completely understand what you're saying but not so much with FFXI. I used to play Everquest:OA for the PS2. For me, what made that game fun was the community and friends I made in that game. I logged in again (nostalgia) after awhile and no surprise only a few people are even on the same server I was on....and I mean a few. All dual-quad boxing gods and raid bosses.

I can't say I'm in the same boat as you or the other commentor because I have Fay to duo things with on FFXI and other MMOs. But that is what we want to do now because we feel semi-bogged down any other way now.

Either way, I think we had some fun times together as short as those times were. And I still remember you "yelling" at me about trying to stop the AF3 seal run :P.

You'll be missed but I think most can understand if you want to leave. Time and changes kill MMOs regardless of how much you don't want it to. Hell, we'd be still level 75 if I had it my way lol.

Rocko/Spydurman said...

Jaci, when i first met u it was during the lil group neeb and Lillie had, I would have never known that you were going to turn out to be such a great friend and trusted alli in crime. you will always be a friend and i look foreword to reading ur blog if u keep it going. I might not speak for everyone but i do for myself... you will be truly missed and i hope to run into you again cuz there would be no one else i could trust as much as u <3

Dizzmal said...

Honestly, I feel the same way. Although I dualbox almost 95% of the time. But the main reason I dualbox is because everyone else is busy doing their own things now. I miss the days of the 12 hour O-hat runs with massive death.. Yeah we hated them back in the day, but it was a group effort of hate. Jacinda, I hate to see you say you're leaving. If you ever come back, hit me up.. I'm willing to do stuff with ya.