I should've gone outside today.

There was one phrase that I said to myself constantly while online today. "Jesus fucking Christ." Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. At the same time, I was born with a 1st class bus ticket to Hell to use upon my death, so asking forgiveness is more of a formality than an actual concern.

Can you tell that I'm not happy? Can you really?

I seriously don't get why this shit has to happen to me, but let me break down today's eventful screw ups.

First Screw Up: Nyzul Isle

Is anyone surprised? Truly. I don't know why I don't just say to hell with a Denali Jacket and let my gimp ass stay with my ACP body. But nooooo....I have to keep trying. Note to self: You're an idiot.

I signed on, and happened to be RDM from my failed Nyzul run last night. Wondering what to do prior to sky, I see my twinny and we chat for a bit. Just so happens that someone was shouting for yet another Nyzul 80 with Denali up for lot. At first I was going to ignore it and just wait until I had more than just one tag to use. Seems like the smart and polite thing to do, since if some astronomical stroke of luck happened and I did get Denali, I'd hate to just grab that and leave due to not having tags.

Still, I couldn't resist the opportunity to get that armor. It actually would be fairly decent to weaponskill in, at least by my standards. Anyway, the leader wants me to come as SAM instead. This was surprising, since I was already fully geared and ready to go as an RDM. I didn't argue and went to change. After awhile, we head to the portal. Just seconds prior to entry, I get a call from family asking for help really fast. I swear on cheese and crackers that people have ESP when I'm about to do something. I apologize to the group and ask for a couple of minutes. Just so happens that the interruption gave me a moment to check my inventory and realize that I left my /nin tools in my locker. That would've been bad. I get my things and after 5 minutes, I'm all set.

Then it starts.

No sooner than everyone gives the "/" symbol, our WHM starts to d/c. We still had an RDM, but unfortunately, she just hit 75 two days ago and didn't seem confident enough to solo heal. We wait awhile and the WHM still doesn't return. Then the THF vanishes. Our leader goes to shout for more people and then his friend leaves too. So he says that we can't do the run without his friend and we disband. Frustrating, but at least I didn't waste a tag. Perhaps that family interruption was a good thing.

Second Screw Up: KS99

So now I've got roughly 90 minutes until sky and I see Ally's online so I double check with her to make sure things are set. No sky today, but KS99 instead. Bah. Not that I don't enjoy KS runs, but that one is like doing a KC run. 99 seals for a chance at an item that basically won't drop and, even though most of the items become free lot for the LS, you're talking about the person who has a habit of lotting sub 200's for anything worthwhile, and 959 for items that NPC for 46 gil. So I always pass on lotting and just help out instead.

Sure, I can possibly get 200-300k for the run but, hell, I can spend 30 seals and get a guaranteed 250k from Royale Ramble. Maybe if I level Monk then I'd be more inclined to take that orb out of storage, but for now, it's going to sit there and fossilize while I figure out what I'm going to do. Now let's talk about how those runs went.

I don't get it. I have got to be the gimpest SAM this side of Nashmau, yet somehow I managed to die multiple times. I don't know how many, but I'm guessing it was around 5-8. I've NEVER died that much on a single event, and I don't understand how I did it. Somehow, other people can weaponskill for twice the damage I do, but when I decide to go, the dragon takes notice of me and decides that it wants a new dead toy to play with. Thankfully, the WHM's gave me R3's each time, even though one of them died 4 times just trying to help me. I couldn't wait for that to be over.

There had to be something I could salvage out of the day. Haha, Salvage.

Final Screw Up: Partying

Twinny and I had been talking, and decided we'd level some more. Lately, she's been our THF and Epic's been the RDM. A semi-static, if you will. If only Yoko could be around more. Anyway, I begin the search for a party. I've been doing fairly well with party setups recently, but today it just wasn't happening. I find a 37 SAM and I get excited. I'm capped on Dagger, so level sync won't screw me up, and I'm already familiar with my abilities thanks to soloing. The SAM's reply? He was hoping for something closer.

What the fuck does that mean?

That was my initial reaction, but I later found out that he didn't know where it was. He's never been to the past. He asked if I was patient enough to wait for him. I could be such an ass at times, but that wouldn't be right. We all needed help at some point. Granted, I'm still looking for other people, but I at least give him directions on where to go. I start to look for people higher than that and just head to the birdies of Wajaom Woodlands, when Anne mentions that she got a lv36 WAR sync. w00t! I talk to him and ask him to meet us at East Ronfure. He agrees, and now I can start the party formation. I find a PLD and she accepts. Freaking sweet, plus I find a Bard that's interested as well. This is looking better and better. I realize we needed more DD because DNC really isn't huge in that area, so I find a DRG and he's all for it. Our sync is taking awhile to reach the camp, and is still hanging out in Port Jeuno, even though others have already made it.

Not wanting to be rude, I just ask if he has a way to make it. He mentions going to San D'Oria and taking the maw in the present. Then I check his home nation. Windurst. Unless he had some of the old warp collars from a previous event, that's a long freaking trip. I offered to retrace him if he could just get to Windurst. I figure that was easy enough. He's right in Jeuno; just grab a warp scroll from the Signet NPC and be done with it. This took longer than expected and I was about to head to Jeuno myself when he showed up. I send him on his way and retrace myself. That's when it hit me.

Paladin, Thief, Warrior, Bard, Dragoon, and Dancer. Son of a bitch.

In all my haste to make a decent party and get everyone to camp, I was running on auto and thinking that Epic was somehow included in that. My math was off and I completely forgot a healer. Oh this would be lovely. The fail is phenomenally strong with me today, I tell you. Luckily, Davi was online and I pleaded with him to heal us while I search for a healer to replace myself. It wouldn't be fair for me to kick one of them out just because I was to careless to look over my party setup and make sure I did things right. So after getting him to agree, he needed to change gear and get setup. I get to camp, and now everyone is waiting for him. I felt so bad because I had no way to realistically get enough TP and keep everyone alive in the time it would take for him to arrive.

Once I see that he's in the zone, I tell the party we can start. Our sync, bless his heart, decided to voke-pull a colibri. I made the mistake of assuming that people know better than to sub dancer in an exp party, and even though he was WAR/DNC when I invited him, I thought he was going to change on his own. I was proven wrong in a very bad way. Our PLD tried to pull the bird off him but couldn't do it in time, and he died. Then I find out that Davi isn't 100% familiar with the camps there, so I ran out to find him and bring him to us. The PLD disbanded and raised our WAR, then returned. Our BRD happened to disband too, but it was just to restart. Now we're all back and ready to go.

SATA was an issue and our PLD wanted to know why the WAR should provoke first since she had it as well. My blood pressure just isn't built to handle this type of questioning so late in the evening. After a brief explanation of why SATA is important, outside of the obvious damage increase, we get underway again. Things are going ok until Anne gets aggroed by a ladybug. Mind you, we're level 36 and it's a bad idea to screw with bugs then, especially in daylight. Davi takes on the bug for us and continues to heal. Then Anne runs out to grab another bird, and the bad stuff happens. Somehow, two ladybugs descend on her along with the Colibri she pulled. I tell Davi that she's in trouble. Meanwhile, our WAR provokes the bird in an act of herosim. We start to fight the bird while Davik's fighting the first ladybug. He heals Anne, but then realizes he's practically out of MP. I Divine Waltz everyone, hoping to pull enough hate to get the bugs off of her and onto me. Nothing worked. They wanted her bad. Davi converts and at just that moment, the ladybug focuses all of its will into a well placed hit that results in Davi's downfall.

With our PL dead, Anne follows soon after. I had used all of my TP to heal her and nothing to save myself from the ladybug that Davi was fighting earlier. The two that killed Anne depopped, but the other one came for me. Nothing I could do, and I fell. Then the Paladin, and everyone else.

Why me? Why in God's name does this shit always happen to me?

The PLD HP's and then disbands, and I can't say I blame her. Everyone else stays and I'm apologizing my ass off to them. I felt so damned bad. If I had paid attention, I would've noticed that I didn't have a healer. None of this shit would've happened if I had just been more focused and not rushed. Instead, I got everyone killed for a party they basically waited 30 minutes for.

Once everyone was raised, I apologized to everyone and signed off. What the hell was the point of staying around now, you know?

Maybe I really should just stick to soloing.