October 21, 2010

Keeping up with the Joneses

There's always the pressure of wanting to stay current with things. Not just for the betterment of yourself, but because this game is fueled by elitists who are quick to point out how inferior you are when you don't perform to the perceived minimum standard.

You can usually tell them to go piss off and still manage to enjoy your time.

However, do you ever feel more pressured to keep up with your friends or associates? You know, the ones who generally accept you exactly as you are, regardless of your gear or skill. The ones who don't really care about all that, yet are somehow phenomenally much farther ahead or better geared than you.

Sure, you might wander about town and see someone with a Masamune and wish you had one, but it doesn't bother you. Hell, you might even see someone out there with the very gear you've been dying to have, but you aren't upset because you don't know them. Then you get a tell from one of your friends who tells you they were randomly invited to a group to kill an NM that you've personally been trying to get help with for ages, and you go into a silent rage. Does this ever happen to you?

Obviously, it happens to me or I wouldn't be talking about it. Truthfully, I feel bad for admitting this. Even worse for actually feeling that way. These are my friends, and I should be congratulating them. I do, but there's always that feeling of "wtf?!" in the back of my head. I should be happy that they went off and got the atma from Eccentric Eve and others with just a pickup group. Cheering them on because they got a random invite to a zone boss just for shits and giggles. I am supposed to be thrilled when they get an Abyssea party that lasts for 10 hours non-stop with drops galore and people leveling left and right. I should be super ecstatic when they send me a tell with nothing more than an item name of their latest drop, followed by a large smile.

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I were actually a part of that fun when my friends go out and do things. It would be nice to get included on things other than just events. Jealousy and envy are horrible things to have, especially towards the people who are your friends. Considering that though, it's quite possible that I really don't deserve to be included.

After all, a real friend wouldn't be envious, right?


CidBahamut said...

I'd say there's a level of envy that's acceptable and even expected to a degree. You can be happy for your friends and still think to yourself, "well darn, I would have liked to have that gear too/been part of that adventure/etc". It's only an issue if it turns into negative energy that drives a wedge between you and others.

Breathem said...

hmm i dont really know how to answer this other than a real friend would try thir damness to get you in the group that invited them too a zone boss or even try the damness to invite you to the kick ass party

Anonymous said...

Much like CidBahamut said, envy is a natural part of being human and a certain degree is acceptable. It's hard not to feel that small twinge of envy (then guilt) when you see someone close you achieve/receive something that you might have been eying yourself. However, if you let your envious feelings consume you and make you a bitter person then it's a serious problem.

Dizzmal said...

I share the same feelings at times.. For me it's when people get stuff from HNM and I'm like.. fuuu I wish I had that much time to play... but then again yeah. I know the feeling..

My latest point of envy was when Neo got the Hauticlair. I have wanted that sword forever! When he got it, my first reaction was.. Sonofa%$#@! .. then congratz....

Then again it did kick start my ass to do the -physical damage down sword from Trials... so meh...