October 16, 2010

Why Not?

I'm not happy today. At least not right now.

I'm unhappy because I want to party and level Paladin. I'd like to finish Bard as well, then move on to Summoner. However, I can't do that right now. I don't have enough time, and it's no one's fault but my own.

I haven't spent a lot of time doing seal quests and things like of that nature, so those aren't why I'm out of time. It's not due to the two times I spent fighting NMs with my small group of friends either. So how the hell is it that I now have to sit in my Mog House while I wait on stones to recharge?

Partying. The very thing I want to do is the reason why I don't have enough stones to do what I want to do. Conflicting, no? You see, it's not just parties though. There are instances where some people have partied using the same 3 stones since Abyssea came out and they have over 100 stones just sitting in a vault somewhere. So why am I different? Well, it's because I join bullshit parties that have been killing my time.

I'm a nice person, and that's my problem. I'm considerate and always want to give people a chance, even when I know better. I don't want to be "that person" who sees a party that isn't ideally perfect and jumps ship to find something else. You know, the person who says they have to go when someone else leaves and then say they couldn't find a rep. Of course, you do a quick search and find 20 people that could've filled their spot. If I lead a party, I don't want to be that bitchy person who's shouting and yelling while calling people morons because they are doing obviously stupid shit. Such as fighting Murexs who almost always open with a powerful spell and watching our RDM do nothing to silence them as the entire alliance gets struck with Thundaga III on Lightningsday.

So, because I'm so nice and passive...I end up staying with parties that aren't the greatest and watch as my time slowly dwindles down to nothing and then get upset afterwards. I probably wouldn't be able to bitch about half as much as I do now if I honestly just got up and left when I had a bad feeling about an event or party I was in. Quite possible that I wouldn't be as stressed either. Other people do it all the time; why not me too?

Why not just sign off when I'm bored during an event or don't feel like going to a particular zone for whatever reason? Take a hit on attendance and lose a point or two. No big deal really; random drops are random, and I don't have nearly enough points to outbid anyone on the things I actually want anyway. So I'm last to get it no matter how I look at it.

Why not just bail on parties I get invited to when they aren't the best they can be? There's no rule of loyalty to the person who invites you, so why should I have to stay when people don't get their shit together and the group starts to fall apart? Why should I bother explaining my reason for going or waste my time trying to find a replacement when I can see the party is going downhill? Are they going to stand by me if I made a party and things weren't that great? Would they stick around to help improve it? Of course they won't.

So why do I bother? I believe in giving an honest effort, all the way to the end (or as close as I can comfortably get). I go to zones or events that I don't want to do because it can't always be about me. I try to stand by party leaders in Abyssea because it would be absolutely horrible if everyone did nothing but look out for #1 instead of the person next to them.

I do most of what I do because I like to think that I'm doing the right thing. Even if the end result is me sitting in my Mog House, waiting on a damn stone to recharge.


Breathem said...

belive it or not i ask my self this alot of times proble more than i should..but i am some what like you i want to be that one person trying to make things better than worse as this bites me in the ass more than it does good..but the one time i help make it better i feel like i did something good not only for myself but for all thats around.

Evilpaul said...

I'm that guy with 100+ stones in storage not doing anything. It's just like everytime I log on lately it's nothing but boredom and disappointment.

If you haven't gotten the two (or three?) Celerity abyssites I'd do that as getting a stone every 12 hours will help out tremendously if you're using them a lot.

Jacinda said...

I just got the second Celerity Abyssite yesterday morning, so now I hope to remedy the issue of not having enough stones. Of course, once I get all of my merits finished, I'll probably be in the same boat you're in EP.

Seisoku said...

I have to be honest, and I hope you realize I mean no offense by it, but it just seems like XI is nothing but a huge clusterfucked -headache- to most people nowadays. I'm sure there's positive sides to when you accomplish a task, but damn, I just see way too many people being fucked out of so many things in the game lately, Just makes me think for what reason do they go through it, do you still feel your sense of accomplishment if you attain per se Full AF3, A relic/Mythic/Empyrean or something of rare value?

Jacinda said...

Seisoku, that's a great question. There is always that sense of accomplishment after we reach a certain goal. Is that the sole reason for continuing though? I don't think it is, even though that seems to be the only thing we all talk about. Blog posts about the latest drop, chat in LS about your new cure total or damage amount.

I like to think there is something more, but I am at a loss for putting it to words. Perhaps that's a sign, but surely there has been something to keep people for all these years, no?