November 9, 2009

99 Silly Questions

Being a resident Vana'dielian (sp?), I'm certain that you have had your times where you wonder why things are the way they are in FFXI. Some internal questions that make you question even the normally unquestionable "fantasy logic" that we have come to accept.

When you're constantly playing, these thoughts don't seem to be as important because it's just something you're used to. You pretty much brush them off and think nothing of it. Since I returned, some of these thoughts have flooded my mind and leave me in a constant state of confusion because the more I think about them, the more exclamatory my WTF thoughts become.

So guess what? I'm going to share a few of these with you and see if I can drive you crazy too. Aren't I just the sweetest thing? ^_^

1. Why is it that the final spells for a WHM reside in a hole-in-the-wall shack in the middle of the desert that has absolutely nothing to do with White Mages?

2. Since the Phantom Puk in Jade Sepulcher drops a Chocobo Egg 100% of the time, does this mean dragons and chocobos are related? If so, does wearing Crimson / Blood gear help with Chocobo breeding since they have Dragon Affinity?

3. Considering we basically have to beat the daylights out of avatars to get them to join us, why don't they have a chance to turn on us and attack in the same way that a beastmaster's charmed pet does? After all, neither one *really* wanted to be our b*****, right?

4. Why don't Colibri ever get full, and exactly how do they manage to reach into our digestive system to pull the food out anyway?

5. We are the heroes of Vana'diel, able to defeat the mightiest of enemies with ease. Yet for some reason, we are unable to scale ledges higher than a couple of inches off the ground and have to walk around. Why???

6. If you can hide yourself from an enemy after aggro by using sneak, invis, and deodorize, why didn't they detect your smell the first time?

7. Shouldn't ALL leeches drop beast blood when we kill them? Don't they all have blood in them?

8. What is it about talking to a guy in armor that suddenly makes armor appear in chests across the land? Why wasn't it there before?

9. Why does crafting have to be so god damned confusing? Couldn't we just toss ingredients in a container, shake it up, and move on with our day?

10. Why do I waste so much time thinking about dumb stuff?

The last question is the most profound of all, wouldn't you agree?